Getting A Strop About Strep

(I get strep throat twice per year. Despite this, I have never been approved to get my tonsils removed. Every year, it gets so bad that I reach a fever of more than 105°F and my throat nearly swells shut. I’ve been told more than once that if I had waited longer than I did to see a doctor I may have died. This normally happens within 24 hours and I ALWAYS know when it’s coming. One night, when I’m stricken with strep throat, I go to the hospital and insist they give me antibiotics.)

Nurse: “So, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Me: “It’s strep. I get it every six months, pretty severely.”

Nurse: “How long have you been feeling your symptoms?”

Me: “Since yesterday.”

Nurse: “Only since yesterday and you came to the ER?”

Me: “Yes. My doctor’s office is closed and I risk dying if I don’t get antibiotics right away.”

Nurse: *in disbelief* “Oookayy. Well, I’m going to do a flu test, so—”

Me: “No, do a strep test. I know its strep. I’m not going to pay for a flu test that’s going to be negative anyway.”

Nurse: “I’ll do the flu test and if it comes back negative I’ll do a strep test.”

Me: “That’s a waste of time. Just do a strep test.”

(She does a flu test on me, and to the surprise of no one, it comes back negative.)

Nurse: “Well, I think you’ll be fine. You’re free to go home.”

Me: “WHAT?! No! May I please speak to another doctor?”

(An actual doctor comes in a few minutes later.)

Doctor: “Hi, honey. How are you doing?” *looks in my throat* “Oh goodness. Sweetie, I don’t mean to offend you but you look terrible. You definitely have strep. I’m not even going to do a test. Do you prefer amoxicillin or penicillin?”