Gets Short About His Height

(My friend is a very short: he’s five feet tall. He’s so insecure that he refuses to ask for help. My friend reaches for a soda on the top shelf.)

Me: “I can grab that for you.”

Friend: “No. I’ve got it.” *jumps for it*

Me: “You need to be careful; it might break.”

Friend: “Don’t.” *jump* “Need.” *jump* “Help!” *jump* “Aha!”

(He does manage to get a hold of it… for a second. It crashes to the floor and soda ends up everywhere.)

Friend: *embarrassed* “Whelp! Time to leave.”

Me: “Nope. You’re grabbing an employee while I wait here and try to prevent people from walking in it.”

(He tried to argue, but eventually got the employee. The worst part is, he works at a different store and complains about customers making messes all the time!)