Get Your Own Employee

(It is a really busy weekend at the grocery store. I am trying to restock some product, but I am being asked for help left and right by customers.)

Customer #1: “Hi! Can you help me find the salad dressing?”

Me: “Of course! If you’ll just follow me, I can show you exactly where they are.”

Customer #1: “Which one do you like best?”

Me: “Personally—”

(Suddenly another customer interrupts us.)

Customer #2: “Show me where the olives are!”

Me: “Miss, they’re two sections over on the very bottom shelf.” *to the first customer* “I really prefer the red wine—”

Customer #2: “I can’t believe you won’t show me where they are. Are you really that lazy that you can’t take the time to help me?”

Customer #1: “Back the f*** off, lady! She’s working her a** off! You’re the one being a lazy b****!”

(The second customer grabs her olives and storms off.)

Me: *to Customer #1* “You’re my favorite customer!”