Get Into The Antichrist-mas Spirit

(There is soft Christmas music playing overhead.)

Customer: “Can you change this to Christmas music? Put it on [FM radio station].”

Me: “Christmas music is currently playing and this is satellite radio.”

Customer: “No, this is about Santa. SANTA equals SATAN! So change it to [FM radio station], now!”

Me: “Sir, once again, it’s satellite radio. I can’t change it to a local station.”

Customer: “So I have to sit here and listen to this?!”

Me: “No, you may leave.”