How To Get Fired Before You’re Hired

(I’m part of the hiring team at my job. I do technical support for a very large company and I’m the team lead. The hiring manager will bring interviewees to sit with me for 15 minutes so that the person can see what we actually do and so that I can assess the person’s suitability for our environment. I am not told who the person is ahead of time, just given a calendar invite to block out my time for the meeting.)

Hiring Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Interviewee].”

(It is a middle-aged guy that I immediately recognize.)

Me: “Hi, [Interviewee], or should I call you [His Username from a dating app]?”

(At this point, he recognizes me, too, and looks horrified.)

Me: “Remember me? I’m [My Username from the dating app], the old hag you sent an unsolicited d**k-pic to.”

Interviewee: *stammering* “That wasn’t me. I’ve never done that!”

Me: *to hiring manager* “Is his cell phone number [number]?”

(I looked at him and smiled, then told him that I’d paid for a reverse lookup on his cell phone number and had all of his personal information. The hiring manager checked the documents in her hand and nodded. I pulled out my phone and showed the manager the messages he sent me, including the abusive language he sent after I told him off for being a jerk. The manager looked grim and immediately ended the interview. Needless to say, he didn’t get hired.)

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