Get Dash-Cams, People!

(In Australia it’s illegal to talk on or use your phone in any way while driving. You can use Bluetooth. I’m driving home, up a steep mountain, in a 50-kmph zone. A car screeches up behind me doing at least double that, until they almost hit the back of me. I don’t freak out, but I definitely have some choice words to mutter to myself. Then, as soon as it starts, they immediately back off and pretend to drive like a sane person. I’m watching the road, but I’ll admit I’m a bit distracted looking in the mirror. Then, I see flashing lights behind them and get excited they’re getting their comeuppance. Well… they don’t. The car moves out the way and the police car following moves past them. I assume at this point they’re headed to an emergency, so I, too, pull over to let them pass. The jerk driver leaves on his merry way and the cop car parks behind me. I open my window.)

Me: “Sorry, but are you stopping here, or stopping me?”

Cop: *getting out* “We’re stopping you.”

Me: “Oh. Why?”

Cop: “You were on your phone.”

Me: “Huh, actually, no, I wasn’t.”

Cop: “Yes, you were; you threw it in the back.”

Me: “No, it’s here.”

(I pat my pockets, assuming that’s where it is, then ruffle through my handbag. It’s in a pocket. In the meantime, a second cop has come out and is looking in my back window with a torch for the elusive phone I’ve supposedly thrown. It’s midday, in the middle of summer, and my windows aren’t tinted; dramatic much? I show the first cop my phone.)

Me: “Here’s my call log. The last call was at [time], and the last message was at [time]. Here’s a message from two days ago that says my data ran out, so I wasn’t online.”

Cop: “You deleted the records. Just admit it; your hand was to your ear.”

Me: “I am completely unaware of whatever I was doing with my hand.”

Cop: “Well, you were looking scared in the mirror because you saw us and knew you were caught.”

Me: “No, that’s because I was almost in an accident with that car behind me, who did a burnout up the mountain, and then drove at least twice the limit, before nearly hitting me.”

Cop: “Well, you were definitely on your phone.”

Me: “I don’t even know what to say. I wasn’t.”

Cop: “Well, just don’t do it again.”

(This was about five years ago and it still annoys me. For obvious reasons, but also because I forgot until after he let me go that I had Bluetooth and I’d have no reason to use my phone, anyway.)