Get Behind Me, Pikachu!

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2018

(I am working the registers. Work has provided employees with foam cups to refill at water coolers near the registers when we are not busy. Between customers, I have drawn different water-type Pokémon and water-related Pokémon items on my cup. I happen to see an elderly customer approaching with a cart, stop drawing, and set my cup near the screen.)

Me: “Good evening. Did you find everything?”

Customer: “Yes, I di—”

(She turns to see my screen as I start scanning her items, and then gasps).

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: *points at my cup* “What the f*** did you draw all over your cup?!”

Me: “Oh, just some things from a video game.”

Customer: “You drew Pokémon all over it! Don’t you know they are satanic?! There are children here! I demand you throw it away!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m not going to throw it away.”

Customer: “Well, then, I’ll just find your manager and he’ll fire you!”

(I chuckle mentally as a few moments ago the front end manager complimented my drawings, but I decide to take my cup and “throw it away,” only to set it under my counter.)

Customer: *smirking* “I knew that’d change your mind. Now, why don’t you be a good, God-fearing citizen…”

(She forces a pamphlet at me as I resume scanning her items. She rants and raves about Pokémon, demons, gays, and the like.)

Me: *gritting my teeth, knowing that I shouldn’t lose my temper at work* “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “And my military discount?”

Me: “May I see your ID?”

Customer: “I don’t have it; every other cashier just give it to me!”

Me: “Sorry, but I’ve been informed to ask every time.”

Customer: “THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A F****** SATAN-WORSHIPPER AND I’M A GOD-FEARING CITIZEN!”

Me: “If you are such a ‘God-fearing citizen,’ then you should know how to ‘obey the laws of the land.'”

(The customer mutters a few more curses before tossing me her money and storming out.)

Customer #2: “Wow… I saw you drawing on your cup; it’s a shame she made you throw it away.”

Me: “Zoroark and God aren’t the only ones that know Illusion.”

(I pulled out my cup and put it where it was before checking out his item.)

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