Germaniac, Part 4

(Being single I try to contact girls via online dating sites. One girl from my town didn’t had much about herself on her profile so I decided to contact her, asking her about things about her, signing with my real first name. Soon, she replied to me:)

Her: “Well, I’m new on this site, haven’t filled in much.”

Me: “No worries. What is your name?”

Her: “I’m [Nickname], as you can see.”

Me: “I was thinking more about your real name.”

Her: “I have a nickname here, so no need for the real name.”

Me: “I think you can learn about each other better.”

Her: “No need. We have nicknames here.”

Me: “I see. What do you do? What is your job?”

Her: “I don’t work for [Dating Site]. I’m only a user here.”

Me: “I understand that. But what is your job, in general, not on [Dating Site]?”

Her: “I said, I don’t work for [Dating Site]. I am only here for contacts.”

Me: “Are you a student or unemployed?”

Her: “No, I’m not.”

(I tried to change the subject by asking other questions but she only replied to me, without asking me anything. I wasn’t sure if she was not interested or just shy. After a while I had to go offline to go to work.)

Me: “Sorry, maybe we can talk later. I need to go to work.”

Her: “Work? It’s 20:30.”

Me: “Yes, this is correct.”

Her: “Are you a bouncer? At 20:30 all the work should have been done.”

Me: “It’s my nightshift.”

Her: “This wouldn’t be for me and my two children.”

Me: “Children? On your profile it is said that you don’t have any.”

Her: “I see. German is not your real language, as you can’t even read.”

(I look back to the chat and realize that she actually wrote: “my FUTURE two children.”)

Me: “Ah, sorry, I misread the word ‘future.'”

Her: “I see, you aren’t a real German. You can’t even read.”

Me: “Hey, this was just a small mistake, it can happen to anyone. You misread my lines, too.”

Her: “This would never happen.”

Me: “I was asking about your job earlier and you were talking about the site.”

Her: “You asked me ‘what is your job here.’ So I replied that I don’t work here.”

Me: “I asked ‘what is your job?’ In general, not here. And you are talking about German?”

Her: “You forgot one word there.”

Me: “I’m not. I just wanted to know about you. You missed one word. I don’t say you can’t speak this language.”

Her: “My native language is German. This can never happen.”

Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day.”