Geographically-Challenged Anxiety

(Due to anxiety, I don’t have a driver’s license, though I’ve been working to overcome it. This means that while my parents are away, my brother has to give me rides to work. It’s Saturday morning, and he’s dropping me off on his way to visit a friend. Suddenly, I start panicking.)

Me: “[Brother], did I turn the stove off?”

Brother: “I’m sure you did.”

Me: “But what if I didn’t? No one’s home. The house could burn down!”

Brother: “You’re being paranoid. You didn’t leave the stove on.”

Me: “Please, we have to check!”

Brother: “If we turn around, you’ll be late.” *annoyed* “Fine! I’ll go back and check after I drop you off.”

(I settle down and get to work on time. Soon after, I get a message from him, telling me that the stove was off. Relieved, I get on with the day. Lunchtime comes, and my manager takes her break. She pops into the break room, then goes into the back office. I think nothing of this, as she often goes into the office during break to talk to her new boyfriend. Ten minutes later, as I’m helping a customer, I smell something off. I run into the break room to find it full of smoke, and a smoldering lump in the microwave. After making sure the fire’s out, I calmly walk past curious customers into the back office.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager]? Just thought you should know, your food has been reduced to a carbon form.”

Manager: *looking up from her phone* “Huh?”

Me: “Your food was on fire.”

(She sprints past me. She had been so distracted by messaging her boyfriend that she set the timer to 40 minutes instead of 4. The store now reeks of smoke and burned food, and the microwave is busted. She buys me lunch, since I now can’t cook my own, and I settle into the back office to eat. I pull out my phone and call my brother.)

Brother: “What’s up?”

Me: “You know how I was freaking out about the stove being on and the house burning down?”

Brother: “Yeah?”

Me: “Well, my boss’s food just caught fire in the microwave. The store is full of smoke.”

Brother: “Oh, my God! Are you okay?”

Me: “Yep. I just wanted to let you know I am not paranoid. I just had the wrong place and the wrong time.”