Geez, Jump To Conclusions Much?

My father died recently at the age of ninety-five. About a week after his death, I get a letter from the city telling me to return the card my father had that entitled him to use parking spaces for disabled people. I call the number in the letter.

Me: “Hi. I am [My Name], the son of [Father], who passed away recently. I received a letter from you telling me to return my late father’s disabled parking card with the enclosed return envelope. However, I have a bit of a problem with that because—”

City Worker: “You are legally obliged to return that card. Not returning the card can result in heavy administrative fees up to €1,000 per month. And using the card can lead to fines and more, with a minimum fixed penalty of €300 per incident and the risk of criminal prosecution. I have your father’s information before me now, so as of this moment, you are in direct violation of the City Ordinance, and since you now have been officially warned and informed, you will be held personally accountable for any abuse of the disabled parking card.”

Me: “…”

City Worker: “Are you still on the line?”

Me: “Yes.”

City Worker: “Well?”

Me: “Well, what?”

City Worker: “Why don’t you respond?”

Me: “I was waiting for you to finish your speech. It wasn’t Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, but it was impressive. The only problem I had was that there was no return envelope enclosed.”

They hung up.

I’ll try again tomorrow.