Geez, I Wonder How It Broke

(A man walks up to the repair counter and puts a computer on the counter.)

Man: “I need to get this fixed.”

Me: “Okay, if you can just start by filling out these forms, I’ll plug in the unit in and see what’s up.”

Man: “It just doesn’t turn on at all anymore.”

(I can’t help but notice that the bay of connectors on the system appears to have been KICKED in. My coworker notices this and silently laughs.)

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid that the system is physically damaged, and our warranties don’t cover this. I can price up a non-warranty repair if you like, but it’s likely to be pricey because the logic board appears to have been, er, cracked.”

Man: “WHAT?! What in the f*** are you talking about?”

Me: “As you can see, there is a large dent in the back of the unit, and it has damaged the logic board.”

Man: “Well, I didn’t f****** do that; it must’ve happened in the f****** car! I had to stop hard and it slid off the f****** seat.”

Coworker: “Actually, sir, it seems as if it was damaged by impacts, such as by a boot or a hammer. Regardless, even if that were the case and it did happen in the car, it’s still non-covered physical damage.”

Man: “That’s f****** bulls***! It didn’t work before that happened in the f****** car like I’m telling you it did, so you need to fix it!”

Me: “I’m afraid that any type of physical damage voids your warranty.”

Man: “So what the f*** are you telling me?!”

Coworker: “Well, we could fix it, but it’s likely more cost-effective to buy a new system.”

(The man, showing clear anger-management issues, which we assume is what happened, shoves the computer over, causing it to slam down and the side to break.)

Man: “SO WHAT DID I BUY A F****** WARRANTY FOR?!”

Coworker: “Well, sir, as we said, physical damage isn’t covered by the warranty… and now we have the cause of physical damage on the camera, too.”

Man: “Oh, f*** this s***, and f*** all of you.”

(The man picks up the computer and walks over to the customer service counter, slamming it down on that counter, causing more damage. He demands to speak to a manager, who told him the same thing we did.)

Man: *suddenly shouting* “F*** this f****** place to f****** h***. I’m gonna f****** sue the f*** outta y’all!”

(The man stormed out, leaving his computer at the counter.)

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