Game, Set, Match

(I have been away from home for three days on a business trip. I get home really late, and have to dress up for a big meeting in the morning. My husband makes it a point to comment on how I look and all the things he wants to do with me when I get home. Working late, I come home to an empty house, and a text that he has gone to the grocery store, so I start playing a video game. I’m still playing when he gets back.)

Husband: “What’s this!? We haven’t had sex in almost a week! We have all these plans, and you’re sitting here playing a video game!”

Me: “I’m sorry. You weren’t home; I needed to de-stress.”

Husband: “Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to miss you, not be able to be with you, and when we finally have a chance to spend time together, you’d rather play your stupid game!?”

Me: “Oh, my God! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize it was such a big deal; I’m shutting it off, see? Come over here and I’ll try to make it up to you.”

Husband: “Actually, can you turn it to ESPN?”

Me: *incredulous look*

Husband: “What? There’s a game on, and one of the running backs is on my fantasy team!”