Future Christmases Will Be Non-Events

| Working | December 23, 2015

(The company I work for usually has a staff Christmas event every year. Since I got into the role on a recommendation from my mother, who works in another department, our two departments decide to attend as one big group. It is only after I have paid my deposit that I find out that some lunatic in the events department thought it would be a good idea to arrange for the event to be held at a burlesque club. I find myself sitting between my boss (a woman in her fifties) and my mother. It became impossible to look anywhere without seeing exposed flesh. The evening in general sucks, the food is bland, and the drinks stupidly expensive. The next day we go back to work.)

Boss: “How did you find last night? Food was a bit bland, wasn’t it.”

Me: “You don’t want to ask me that or you will open the floodgates.”

Boss: “What? Everything okay?”

Me: “It was just horribly awkward, you know…”

Boss: “Why… oh…. OH… You, a 21 year old male, sat between your mother and your boss whilst girls in their underwear walked around half naked… I can imagine.”

Me: “You didn’t wonder why I spent all of the time there playing Angry Birds at my phone?”

Boss: “Well, I did think you were being quiet for you…”

(I never went to another staff event whilst I worked there… I am not risking that again!)

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