Full-Blown Self-Serve

(I am a caregiver, driving my client’s car to a gas station. My client is a reasonably well-off widow of a Hollywood big shot.)

Me: “Do you want self-serve or full service?”

Client: “Self is fine.”

(As I pull into the pump, I pass an employee sweeping outside the building.)

Client: “Honk at him!”

Me: “Um… why?”

Client: “To get him to help us.”

Me: “Oh, so you want full service?”

Client: “No, I just want him to come here and put the thing in, and check the oil.”

Me: “Um, I can do that. I pump my own gas all the time.”

Client: “I know dear. I don’t care. I want him to do it.”

(My client gets out of the car and flags down two separate employees, who pump her gas and check her fluids. She pays and we leave.)

Me: “So, you did want full service. Why did you want me to go to self-serve?”

Client: “It’s cheaper!”