Frustration? Meet My Sarcasm

(I work in a well-known, large chain store. We carry technology, office supplies, paper, etc. Whenever we do not have something in the store, we always offer to order it online for the customer and ship it to them with no shipping fee. Shipping is very fast; it usually takes one to three business days. But some people just want to complain that we don’t carry EVERY product our business sells in the store. One day I see a lady with a half-full cart looking at products with a semi-frown on her face. I cautiously approach.)

Me: *cheerfully* “Hi! Are you finding everything all right?”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Uh, no!”

Me: “Oh, well, what can I help you find?”

Customer: “I am looking for [specific type of Rolodex holder and specialty Rolodex note cards]; where are they?! You should have them here with your other Rolodex products!”

(We used to have an entire section of Rolodex products, but no one EVER bought them, so they downsized our in-store stock. Now we have one holder and one refill card pack. But we can order any of the others online.)

Me: “I see. We carry just what you see here in the store, but I know that I can order the ones you need and have them shipped right to you with no shipping fee! Would you like me to do that?”

Customer: *looking at me with a nasty expression* “No! I want you to have it in store!”

Me: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but we do not carry it in store — corporate sets our inventory — but I can order it for you.”

Customer: “I don’t think you get what I am saying! I want you to carry the things I need in the store! I want to shop here and give you business! You never have what I need in store! I had to buy [random product that I have never heard of] somewhere online because you didn’t have it in store!”

(The customer has a half-full cart, so obviously, there are things she needs that we DO carry in the store.)

Me: “Well, I am sorry. Again, we carry most things people need for their business or office in store, but we have millions of products the company sells, and we could never stock all of our stores with all of those products. If there is anything we don’t have, as I said, we can do a hassle-free order, or you can order from home or work.”

Customer: “You don’t get what I am saying! I want you to carry things in….”

Me: *getting frustrated because this lady is arguing in circles* “Ma’am, I understand what you are saying, but there is literally nothing I can do about making something suddenly be stocked in the stores. I can order for you, or help you find something else. Can I do either of those things for you at this moment?”

Customer: *staring daggers at me* “I am frustrated!”

Me: “I am sorry about—“

Customer: *interrupts* ” I am telling you I am frustrated!”

(I have no idea what she expects me to do, she is just being difficult, so I decide to stop wasting time.)

Me: “Yes, I see that. I am sorry. If there is anything I can do for you reasonably in my power, please let me know.”

(I walk away. The customer shops for two more hours, fills her cart until it’s overflowing, and then makes a nasty comment to the cashier about our stock, makes fun of the cashier’s name —  a completely normal name — then starts to go. I can’t help myself, especially after she treats my cashier badly. I say in a sickly sweet voice as she is walking out:)

Me: “Oh, I am so glad you found an entire cart full of things you needed in the store! HAVE A FANTASTICALLY BEAUTIFUL DAY!”

(She glared and stomped off. My boss wasn’t even mad after hearing my story!)