Fruit Loopy

Me: “Alright ma’am, I’ve entered all your requests in the reservation. Have a great day!”

Caller: “Wait, I’m not finished! I want a fruit basket in my room to be there when I arrive. And there better not be any grapes! They’re nasty! They’re dirty and full of germs! I only want fruit with skins I can peel off!”

Me: *being a fellow germophobe* “I definitely understand that. Bananas and oranges.”

Caller: “If I find any skinless fruit, I will immediately throw the entire fruit basket out of the window into the ocean! Do you hear me?”

Me: “Ah, well then we have to move you to a room with a balcony, because the window in your stateroom doesn’t open. The upgrade would cost $2,100.00, is that okay?”

Caller: *long pause* “No, I will just carry it upstairs to the deck and do it from there.”

Me: “Alright, sounds great. Anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “No thanks dear, have a good day.” *click*