Friendship Needs To Take A Time Out

(In college, we often end up with long lunch breaks due to our class schedules. I have made friends with two guys there. Friend #1 is your typical good buddy who always looks out for you, but Friend #2 can best be described as the absolute king of wasting your time. When we hang out with him, we somehow put up with waiting for him to finish whatever he is doing which often makes us late for classes and gets us into trouble. On this particular day, we have an hour to kill on our lunch break. We decide to go into the supermarket in the nearby town. We strictly tell Friend #2 that, on this occasion, if he has not chosen and paid for what he wants by the time Friend #1 and I have chosen and paid for what we want, we will leave him behind as we do not want to be late for our next class.)

Me: “I fancy a sandwich and some crisps today.”

Friend #1: “Well, I’m going to get some chocolate and maybe some crisps.”

Friend #2: “Hmm, I don’t know what I want today.”

Me: “Well, you better decide. Remember what we said earlier.”

(We decide to split up for a minute or two to grab our items and meet back up in the crisp aisle. Friend #2 appears in the aisle five seconds after I do. I immediately choose a multipack bag of crisps for myself.)

Friend #2: “You’re not seriously going to have all of that by yourself, are you?”

Me: “Yes.”

(Friend #1 arrives at the aisle. I’m ready to pay for my items.)

Me: *to [Friend #1]* “Have you got all your stuff?”

Friend #1: “I’ve got one more thing to get.”

(At this point, I decide to go off and pay for my items at the self checkout. I return to the same aisle about a minute later and just as I get there, I notice a worker pulling into the aisle with a trolley and begins loading up one of the shelves.)

Friend #2: “Oh, I just can’t decide! I don’t know what to get, man!”

Me: “You better hurry up.”

Friend #1: “I’m going to go and pay now.”

Friend #2: “No! Wait! Just give me a few minutes!”

(My patience is starting to wear a bit thin now. As my friend walks off to the self checkout, I decide that I don’t want to be carrying a massive bag of crisps in public. I open the bag and start loading the individual packets into my own bag.)

Friend #2: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Getting ready to leave. I don’t want to be carrying this around with me.”

Friend #2: “Oh, come on! Please, just wait a few minutes for me.”

Me: “No.”

(Suddenly, Friend #2 notices the worker behind him and speaks up.)

Friend #2: “Excuse me! He hasn’t paid for his crisps!”

(The worker immediately looks up for a second and then walks over in my direction, following Friend #2 pointing at me.)

Worker: “Have you paid for these?”

Me: “Yeah, I did. I paid for them about two minutes ago.”

Worker: “Do you have a receipt with you?”

(I show her my receipt. She looks at it for about ten seconds then hands it back to me. She shrugs and goes back to shelf packing. Friend #2 is just standing here almost bursting into laughter.)

Me: “What the f****** h*** do you think you’re doing?! You could have just got me into serious trouble there!”

Friend #2: “Well, I thought it was funny! C’mon, it was a joke!”

(Needless to say, I was not impressed with his behaviour. Friend #1 returned shortly after this and I told him that we’re going, leaving Friend #2 behind. I told him what had just happened. He was just as shocked about it as I was. Friend #2 ended up being 20 minutes late for the next class and he blamed us for it! I was so lucky that I hadn’t immediately discarded that receipt.)