Friends Without Benefits

, , , , , | Working | June 17, 2018

(I have gone into the café my family owns for a quick bite to eat while I’m on break. I have never met the cashier before, so I assume she’s new.)

Cashier: “That’s [amount], please.”

Me: “I also have the family and friends discount. My name is on the records.”

(She rolls her eyes and holds out her hand.)

Cashier: “Nice try. [Amount], please.”

Me: “No. You will get the record book, verify my name — [My Name] — and give me the discount.”

(She looks me up and down, still with her hand out.)

Cashier: “So, what are you supposed to be? Cousin? Daughter? What’s the owner called?”

Me: “That’s none of your business. Please do as I ask and get the record book. Oh, and [Husband].”

(She snorts.)

Cashier: “Impressive. I guess scammers really come prepared these days. You can either pay, or I’ll call security and have you removed.”

Me: “Security? Really? This is a small, family-owned café. We don’t have security.”

Cashier: “No, but I can get the chef. He’s beefy!”

Me: “The only chef here is [Nephew], and he’s so thin a gentle breeze could knock him over. But please, by all means, get him.”

Cashier: “Oh, um… What was your name again?”

(I give her my name again and she leaves for the kitchen. My nephew comes out and makes small talk while applying my discount and getting my change. I see the cashier poking her head above the window in the kitchen door occasionally, and I smile and wave. Later that evening when I get home, my husband talks about her.)

Husband: “She took off with the record book during her first shift. She’s adamant that she didn’t take it, but [Brother-in-Law] saw her stuff it in her bag while he was in.”

Me: “Why the hell haven’t you fired her?”

Husband: “Because I want the book back. She’ll bring it back eventually, and I can guarantee we’ll have more friends in it than before.”

(A few weeks later, the book appeared again, with 62 new names added to it. The cashier tried to act like they had always been there, but the change in handwriting and six of the names having the same surname as her was something she couldn’t argue with. We contacted her parents, who confirmed she had added their names, but under the pretense that it was family and friends of employees who also got the discount. She was promptly fired; however, her parents requested she volunteer to work for us for a month as punishment. My husband agreed and has her working with stock. Our son works in there, so hopefully she won’t think to try anything.)

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