Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Sunny Side Up

(A woman returns to our car wash with a scowl on her face, fifteen minutes after leaving. Note that she drives a black Beetle and it’s been 80 degrees with sunny skies for the past week.)

Me: “Hi, welcome back!”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to speak with your owner, please.”

Me: “He’s having a conference call right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, my car is still dirty.”

Me: “Oh, did the mud not wash off the back?”

Customer: “There was no mud. The egg didn’t wash off the roof of my car.”

Me: “Um, someone egged your car? How long has the egg been there?”

Customer: “A week or so, but that’s not the point. It didn’t wash off!”

Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked into your paint. It’s never going to wash off.”

Customer: “What?! It’s just a f****** egg! My car is not a god-d*** frying pan! It was some friends playing a joke… Just wash it off!”

Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked on. You have to get it repainted. Whoever egged your car is no friend of yours.”

(The customer suddenly gets very quiet and glares at me.)

Customer: *whispers* “Who have you been talking to?”

(The customer pointed her finger at my face and began to slowly back out the door. She then sat in her car and slowly drove off… without breaking her stare.)