(Two friends and I are sitting together in science. A boy, who’s known for being eccentric, turns around to us and starts talking to us.)

Boy: “Do you watch Hannibal?”

(Him and I chat for ages about serial killers; my friends are looking more and more disturbed as we continue talking.)

Friend #1: *at [boy]* “What the f*** do your parents let you watch on TV?”

Boy: “Hey, I’m the sociopath; she’s the psychopath.”

Me: “Very true.” *to [Boy]* “Did you hear about the railway murderers? They killed three people!”

Friend #1: *turning to me* “What the f*** do your parents let you watch on TV?”

(Overheard while I was browsing in the lingerie section.)

Lady #1: “That’s what I need: a training bra.”

Lady #2: “Ain’t no training those things… you’re too late.”

(A group of friends and I are getting ready to set up a new (Fantasy RPG) campaign, and are discussing dice while making our characters.)

Friend #1: “Yeah, I got these at (Popular Game Store) last weekend….it was Magic: the Gathering night.”

Friend #2: “….I’m so sorry.”

My Sister: “Did you notice the corndogs, hot pockets, and peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches they keep in a cooler to sell to players?”

Friend #1: “No, but the air smelled of sweat and Mountain Dew and Dorito chips and broken dreams.”

(I’m listening to music and on my laptop at a hair salon while I wait for my grandmother’s hair to finish. A woman I’ve never met before but who seems friendly comes in and sits next to me to wait for her appointment. She decides to make friendly conversation.)

Woman: “So what’s that on your computer screen?”

(She points to video game character I have an image of on my desktop.)

Me: “The Angel of Death.”

Woman: “What’s on your shirt?”

(She points to my T-shirt which has one of my favorite metal bands on it.)

Me: “The Angel of Vengeance.”

Woman: “What song are you listening to?”

Me: “Wish I Had An Angel”.

Woman: “Wow. I guess you really like angels.”

(I am at my choir lesson. Our director is trying to get us to say, “Pah-rah-gah-te”. We are saying it “Pay-ruh-gah-te”.)

Director: “Everyone say, ‘pah-rah-gah.'”

Us: “Pay-ruh-gah.”

Director: “No! Say, um, ‘Uh muh gahd.'”

Us: “Uh muh gahd.”

Director: “Pah-rah-gah.”

Us: “Pah-rah-gah.”

Director: “Perfect! Now, start singing.”

(We sing the song, with each paragate perfect. This is why he is my favorite director.)