(I have had strangers asking me for some spare change every single day when commuting. At first, I would always give some money I had to spare, but when people turned extremely rude and organised beggar-rings formed, I stopped doing so. I have a change of heart one day.)

Stranger: “Hey, you got some change? I only lack 60 cents for my train ticket. Only 60 cents, mister, please!”

(He is standing next to the ticket machines, so I give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: *hands him one Euro* “There you go…”

(I then go to a local bakery to grab a bite. When I return to the train station 15 minutes later, I see the same guy again, doing his spiel.)

Stranger: *walking up to random people* “Hey, man, I lack just 60 cents for my train ticket… You can spare 60 cents, can´t you?”

(He then sees me. His eyes are locked on me. I can see gears moving in his brain. Then, suddenly:)

Stranger: *to me* “Hey man, you can spare 60 cents. I need 60 cents for my train ticket. Please, I really need that ticket!”

Me: *speechless*

(A friend of mine and my family’s is going to a convention in another state, and we have this conversation via Skype chat while he is in transit.)

Friend: “Hi. I’m on a train.”

Me: “I’ll alert the media.”

Friend: “Good, you know your task. Make sure [Brother] does his part.”

Me: “He’s already gathering your forces.”

Friend: “Good, good. And your mom?”

Me: “She still has not discovered our plans for world domination.”

Friend: “Yes, but is she doing her part without knowing it?”

Me: “Of course, we’ve manipulated her masterfully.”

Friend: “Brilliant.”

(My friends and I are hanging out with some acquaintances who don’t know most of us as well as we all know each other.)

Friend #2: “My dad can do 100 push ups! How many push ups can YOUR dad do?”

Friend #3: “Yeah, well, MY dad can do 1000 push ups.”

Acquaintance #1: “How many push ups can YOUR dad do, [Friend#1]?”

Friend #1: *seriously* “My dad is dead.”

Acquaintance #1: *laughs hysterically… then looks around and realizes no one else is laughing* “Wait, what?”

Friend #2: “Yeah, his dad really is dead…”

(It is slow at work and two coworkers and I are just chatting to pass the time as there is nothing left to do before the ending of our shift.)

Female Coworker: ”So, you guys want to see a picture of my cat?”

(She proceeds to pull out her cellphone and shows us pictures of said cat.)

Me: ”Awww, cute!”

Female Coworker: ”Yeah… he’s dead.”

Me: ”Wait… what!? Dead in the picture? No kidding?”

Female Coworker: ”Yeah, here’s a picture of my daughter crying next to him.”

(The picture showed her crying daughter posing for the camera alongside the dead animal. The other coworker and I looked at each other in disbelief.)

(I’m playing at a creek with a friend when I find the largest fishing spider I’ve ever seen sitting on the rock by the water where a bunch of minnows are swimming. I adore spiders.)

Me: “[Friend], look! I found a spider! Isn’t she beautiful?”

(My friend walks over, takes one look at it, and smashes it with one of her flip flops, then knocks its body into the water. I’m currently in too much shock to form a response.)

Friend: “If you hadn’t told me it was there, it would still be alive. Now you’ve learned for next time.”

(She did things like this many times over the years, knowing well enough that it would upset me. Unsurprisingly, several years later we had a huge falling out and I refuse to even speak her name now.)