Just Beautiful Human Beings

| Friendly | July 18, 2014

(I am 16, working in the kitchens at a summer camp I’ve been attending since I was about ten. A barbecue/buffet has been set up by the lake for the special needs adult campers, and being part of the kitchen staff, I am one of the staffers behind the line serving food.)

Camper: *smiling at me* “You’re gorgeous.”

(I can’t help but smile, and say the first thing that comes to mind.)

Me: “You’re gorgeous, too!”

(There are no words to describe how stunned and excited the man is when I say this to him, and he turns to the next camper in line, hitting him on the shoulder repeatedly to get his attention.)

Camper: *in a loud, hoarse whisper* “She thinks I’m gorgeous!”

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Name Of Thrones

| Friendly | July 17, 2014

(My friend and I are sitting in English class talking about amnesia.)

Teacher: “Does anyone know what J.D. stands for? When they can’t find the persons identity they use the name Jane and John Doe.”

Me: “You know nothing, John Doe… literally.”

(My friend and I high five while our teacher is staring at us l like we’re nuts.)

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Not The Router You Were Expecting

| Friendly | July 17, 2014

Friend: *looking at his phone’s wi-fi settings* “I think my wireless router is insecure.”

Me: “Have you tried talking it up?”

Friend: *to the router* “You are a good router, and people say nice things about you.”

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A Stranger Witnessing Stranger Behavior

| Friendly | July 17, 2014

(My father is helping a stranger move furniture out of their apartment building. It is a lot of hard work to get the big couches and desks down a few flight of stairs, but my dad and a few other people are getting the hang of it. About halfway through the work, a young man, probably in his twenties, comes up to the apartment. The moment he comes in, he grabs a beer, pulls up a chair, and watches my dad and the others work. My dad, who was never shy about speaking his mind, looks up at the young adult doing nothing.)

Dad: “Hey. Do you live here?”

Stranger: “Not really. My mom lives here.”

Dad: “And… did you come to help us out?”

Stranger: “Nah, you guys seem to have the hang of it.”

(My dad takes a quick glance at the mountain of work left to do, before looking back at the man with a frown.)

Dad: “Aren’t you even a little ashamed that I, a perfect stranger, am doing more work for your mom than you, her own son?”

(The moment he asks that, the son gets up in a huff.)

Stranger: “Well, if I’m just going to get insulted here, I’m leaving!”

(And, with that, he stormed off with his beer, out of the apartment, into his car, and drove off, leaving my father standing there in complete disbelief.)

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Neither Was Man’s Best Friend

| Friendly | July 17, 2014

(We are in gym class playing capture the flag in a nearby forest when a bull terrier jumps out of the bushes and clamps down on my leg.)

Me: “Ahh! Get it off! [Friend], help me!”

(I look behind me to see that my friend running away at full speed.)

Me: “… Well, d***.”

(I didn’t need stitches, but the dog’s owner accused me of assaulting her dog!)

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