The Best And Worst Idea To Date

| Friendly | February 15, 2014

Complimentary Tampons

| Finland | Friendly | February 15, 2014

(Our friend was born male, but has been living as a woman most of the time I’ve known her. She is temporarily living with our family. She tends to sleep during the day while the rest of us are awake, so I am explaining how to use earplugs.)

Me: “Earplugs are like tampons: when you have them in right, you don’t feel them.”

Friend: “I’ve never used tampons.”

Me: “Oh, did you use pads?”

Friend: “Think about what you just said for a minute.”

Me: “Oh! I totally forgot that you weren’t born female!”

Friend: “Most. Awkward. Compliment. Ever.”

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Went To The Wrong Joint, Part 2

| Friendly | February 14, 2014

Have You Not Heard The News?

| Providence, RI, USA | Friendly | February 14, 2014

(In our close knit community, newly married couples almost always start a family right away. So when a couple has been married several years with no children, we assume this is unintentional and we worry about them. I run into a friend and her husband on a street corner.)

Friend #1: “Have you seen [Friend #2] yet?”

Me: “No, I haven’t.”

Friend #1: *excitement coloring her voice* “You have to see [Friend #2]!”

Me: “Really?! That’s great news!”

Friend #1: “I know. I was so excited, I was practically jumping for joy!”

(Meanwhile, my friend’s husband is standing there laughing at us for sharing news without actually sharing news. Sure enough, when I saw Friend #2 later that night, she was quite obviously expecting!)

A Push Too Far

| TX, USA | Friendly | February 14, 2014

(I overhear two ladies in casual conversation.)

Customer #1: “I don’t know why she is even still friends with you.”

Customer #2: “Oh, she thinks she just fell down the stairs. She doesn’t know I pushed her!”

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