(My friends and I, including my boyfriend, get together regularly for board game nights. We are playing Articulate, a game where you have to describe a word without using the word.)
Boyfriend: *to Friend #1* “This is a major figure in Islamic religion.”
Friend #1: *yells confidently* “BUDDHA!”
Everyone Else: *cracks up laughing*
(A bit later:)
Friend #3: *describing the word sneeze* “Achoo.”
Friend #4: “Bless you.”
(My mom’s band has been asked to be the last performance on the biggest night of the local folk music festival. I have spent the event with her, and when the big moment comes, get in the front row of dancers. I sidle sideways trying to find a good spot to film from, and settle in. Then, from behind me, I hear a sad voice speak up.)
Voice: “Awww, why’d you have to stop in front of meee?”
(It should be noted that at 5’2″, I am by no means tall, so I turn around to discover that I had decided to stop directly in front of a woman no taller than my shoulder. Naturally, I moved over a bit…)
(I’m known to be bit of a pushover at times. I’m especially weak against magazine salesmen who call me. I feel so sorry for them that I end up ordering magazines I’m not really interested in. My roommate makes fun of me for this.)
Salesman: “So, what do you say? Would you like to order [Magazine about travelling]?”
Me: *trying desperately to come up with some kind of refusal* “Oh… well… I can’t. My roommate would make fun of me.”
Salesman: “Your roommate? You know what; let’s make it a gift order for your roommate. Let’s see, that would be [price]. What do you so say?”
Me: *sighs* “Okay…”
(I later I try to explain this to my roommate.)
Me: “So, I ended up ordering this magazine for you…”
Roommate: “What kind of magazine?”
Me: “A travel magazine…”
Roommate: “Neither of us travels.”
Me: “Well, we could travel…”
(Later still, both of us have gone home for a few weeks. I come back earlier and check the mail. Following exchange is through text messages.)
Me: “You have a few letters waiting for you here. Oh, and [Magazine].”
Roommate: “Sounds like everything is as it should be. Except for [Magazine].”
(I am babysitting for two girls, aged five and seven.)
Older Girl: “[My Name], [Younger Girl] just said a bad word!”
Me: “What?”
Older Girl: “The ‘F’ word!”
Me: “[Younger Girl]?”
Younger Girl: *gleefully* “FROZEN! FROZEN! FROZEN! FROOOOOOOZEN!”
Older Girl: “Bad word! Stooooooop! Bad word!”
(Apparently, the older girl, whose name is the same as a major character from the movie ‘Frozen,’ hates the movie because that’s what everyone thinks of when they hear her name and has forbade anyone in her house to say it.)
(This takes place when I’m hanging out with a friend and we’re driving to the movies. My friend is a guy, I’m a girl, and many people used to say how we would get together even though we don’t see each other that way.)
Friend: *messes with the air conditioning and the windows start to fog up* “No! Bad car! We do not want it to get hot and steamy in here!”
Me: *starts to laugh before a very sexually explicit song comes on the radio*
Friend: “D*** it, car! Stop trying to ship us!”
