(When this happened, I wasn’t very tech-savvy, so I was asking my friend, who prides himself on his knowledge of the subject.)

Me: “So, real quick, a Gibibyte is 1024 Tebibytes, right?”

Friend: “I should punch you for saying that.”

(My friend and I are in the car together when she starts talking about the past.)

Friend: “Hey, do you remember when we were kids and you use to leave those really long messages on our answering machine?”

Me: “What? No.”

Friend: “You did! You use to leave twenty-minute long messages on our answering machine for us to find!”

Me: “Oh, my god, I don’t remember that! Was I actually calling for a reason or just because?”

Friend: “I can’t remember. I just remember mum and dad finding them!”

Me: “I honestly don’t remember but that really does sound like something I would have done!”

Friend: “And do you remember when you met my best friend from primary school? We were playing M.A.T.C.H. and she asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up and you said a Digimon!”

Me: “Oh, my god!”

Friend: “Yeah! She was like ‘what’s Digimon’ and I told her it was a show, so she said ‘Oh, so you want to be an animator?’ And you said ‘No, I want to be a Digimon’!”

Me: “I don’t remember that! Oh, my god, that is such a tiny [My Name] answer! Why, tiny me?!”

Friend: “I think you’re the reason why I don’t like my social groups mixing.”

Me: “Awwww. I swear, all my friends have at least one story about how I’ve traumatized them in some way.”

Friend: “Only one?”

Me: “At least one.”

Friend: “That’s better.”

(It’s the beginning of our first year. I and a couple of classmates leave a classroom to walk to another. We don’t know each other very well yet. As we walk toward a door, it opens and another student I don’t know — a woman with fairly big breasts — walks through it.)

Classmate #1: *obviously staring at the stranger’s breasts, suddenly exclaims* Wow, bal—”

(I assume he was going to say “balloons” or something like that. I and the other classmate stop and stare at him in surprise. The stranger is doing the same, which he apparently notices.)

Classmate #1: *trying to find a word* “Bal… bala… balalaika!”

(All three of us now stare at him in total confusion. The stranger leaves a moment later but can’t help than glance at him over a few times.)

Me: *once the stranger has left* “Very… subtle.”

(Overheard:)

Girl: “Wait, those were SEAGULLS? I thought they were CHILDREN!”

(I am with my family at a restaurant. It is overbooked, so despite having reservations we are waiting in a room with many others. A very large man and a tiny old woman enter. The old woman is given a seat and she is speaking to the man, who is at least 40. After about ten minutes…)

Man: “MOM, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE TIRED! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANT TO EAT HERE!”

(She says something inaudible to him and he replies.)

Man: “YOU CAN GO WAIT IN THE CAR IF YOU WANT! I WILL LEAVE YOU THERE FOR HOURS, MOM. I DON’T CARE! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, UNDERSTAND?”

(After another ten minutes the pair decided to leave. The restaurant was a hibachi table where two families were often seated together, so I’m glad we didn’t have to end up with them!)