You Shall Not Pass… Your OWLS

| UT, USA | Friendly | March 10, 2014

(My friend avoids geek culture like the plague. We’re at a movie when a trailer for the new ‘Hobbit’ movie plays.)

Friend: *after seeing Ian McKellen on the screen as Gandalf* “Hey, it’s Dumbledore!”

Me: “No, that’s not Dumbledore. That’s Gandalf.”

Friend: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure…”

Friend: “Oh, well then he should have been Dumbledore.”

Me: *sigh* “You know, he really should have been…”

A Picture Of Disrespect

| Devon, England, UK | Friendly | March 9, 2014

(I am walking into town with my three children and we see an elderly woman on a mobility scooter. We move out of the way politely, and smile. She just glares. About an hour later on our way back home, we see her again, and once again, I make sure we are all out of the way so she enough room to get by.)

Me: *smiling* “Good afternoon.”

Lady: *glares back* “Why don’t you just take a picture, you nosy cow!

(So much for trying to teach my kids manners, when other people treat us like rubbish!)

Make A Disappointment

| USA | Friendly | March 8, 2014

(It’s a Friday night. I call up one of my friends I haven’t seen in a while.)

Me: “Hey, you want to come over tonight? We can make dinner, drink some wine…”

Friend: “Yeah! Sounds fun!”

Me: “Okay, see you in a few hours.”

(A few hours later…)

Friend: “Hey, [Other Friend] just asked me to hang out, and I think I’m just going to hang with them instead. Sorry!”

Me: “…”

(This is probably why I never see her.)

A Monster Of A Wedding

| Sugar Hill, GA, USA | Friendly | March 7, 2014

(I’m talking with my best friend over IM about what he’s wearing to my upcoming wedding. He’s my ‘man of honor,’ but we’re basically eloping, so I’m not enforcing a dress code other than ‘dress nicely.’)

Me: “What are you wearing to my wedding?”

Friend: “I’m not sure yet. Why is there a theme or something? Do I need a Godzilla costume? I guess I’d be more of a Mecha-Godzilla. You would be Mothra and [Groom] would be Godzilla. [Best Man] and [His Wife] could be Gamora and the creepy recycling monster thing…”

I Just Gotta Be Me

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Friendly | March 7, 2014

(While browsing tables at a yard sale with my mom, a lady taps my shoulder. I turn around.)

Lady: “Oh! It’s not you.”

Me: “Yes, it is!”

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