The Age Of Rampage

| WI, USA | Friendly | May 24, 2014

(I have recently made a friend who has a habit of saying ‘rampage’ after a sentence, be it his or another friend’s, as a joke. This happens when he, another friend, and I go out shopping. This was my first real time hanging out with him.)

Old Friend: “You read a lot of comics and manga. What would you suggest, since [New Friend] wants to start into it.”

Me: “Well, I like [Violent Manga Title]. It has one character who needs to keep a level of nicotine in his system or else he goes crazy and starts a rampage.”

New Friend: *picks up the title without hesitation*

Old Friend: “You said the one thing that got him interested.”

New Friend: “Rampage.”

(He purchases it. We then head to another store for my old friend to find new cell phone accessories, with no luck.)

New Friend: “So, why are you trying to get new accessories before you even have the new phone?”

Old Friend: “Because if I don’t then something will happen to it- like, it will break -and I will either be very sad or go on a rampage.” *looks to the new friend with an expectant look*

Me: *walking behind them* “Rampage.”

Old Friend: *whips around to look at me* “You two have been hanging out TOO MUCH!”

New Friend: “It’s just been today…”

Old Friend: “And THAT’S been too much!”

And A Bottle Of Pun…

| Columbus, OH, USA | Friendly | May 23, 2014

(I am in AP Calculus. At the beginning of the year my teacher divided us into groups with which we are allowed to work on homework and some test problems. My group is my two friends and I. We are really not bad at Calculus, but we are a little crazy sometimes and easily get off topic.)

Me: “Guys, we need a group name!”

Friend #1: “Okay… like what?”

Friend #2: “Well it needs to be a math pun, obviously.”

(We google ‘math puns’ but don’t find any that work for a group name, so we begrudgingly settle in to do homework. Then, a few minutes later…)

Friend #2: “Oh, my gosh! We’re the pirates! Get it? Pi-rates? Like pi?!”

Me & Friend #1: “That’s awesome!”

Me: “Now we just need a theme song!”

Friend #1: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yes. And I’ve already got it! ‘We are the pi-rates who don’t derive anything, we just sit in our corner and cry, and if you ask us to derive anything, we’ll just tell you… we don’t know how.'”

Making It Pretty Obvious

| Canada | Friendly | May 23, 2014

(I’m a girl, talking to a friend that is going through troubles with the girl he likes. I’m trying to get him to talk to a different girl.)

Me: “Go talk to [Girl]!”

Friend: “But she’s so pretty! You know how uncomfortable I am talking to pretty girls!”

Me: *death glare*

A Hard Ruling

| Tampa, FL, USA | Friendly | May 23, 2014

(In middle school we took a trip to a theme park. I was reading the rules for a ride.)

Me: “Please keep head erect.”

Friend #1: “Wait, what?”

Friend #2: “You know what that means, right?”

Me: “No…” *clicks* “Oh, my god! I did not just say that!”

(We are now in our 20s and I still hear about it.)

They Have To Spell It Out To You

| Hampshire, England, UK | Friendly | May 22, 2014

(I’m quite well-known in the social circle in a certain pub, and although I’m not close to anyone I tend to get on well with every other regular. On this night, there’s a pub quiz. The question was about boats.)

Guy #1: “Hmm… Oh, I think the answer is ‘canoe’!”

Guy #2: “Could be. We going to go with that?”

(We all agree and the group leader writes ‘kanoo.’)

Me: “Oh, that’s spelled “C.A.N.O.E.”

Group Leader: *stares at me* “Oh. Well, I’m not good at spelling. I’m dyslexic.”

Me: *slightly awkward* “Sorry, didn’t know that.”

Guy #2: “I am too, actually.”

Me: *joking* “Heh, don’t tell me I’m the spelling smarta** in a group of dyslexics!”

Guy #3: “Well, actually…”

Guy #4: “Pretty much, yeah.”

(I was far too embarrassed to think of a decent way to reply! Whoops.)

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