Ignorant On The Immigrant

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Friendly | March 3, 2014

(I am an Indonesian-British mix who recently moved to Sydney. I look more obviously Caucasian and I was raised in an international lifestyle so my accent is very neutral. I am making small talk outdoors.)

Stranger: *walks out behind me* “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes? Can I help you?”

Stranger: “I heard you talking back there. Are you new here?”

Me: “Yeah, I just moved here last month.”

Stranger: “Cool! If you want I can show you around. You are the first American exchange student I’ve met. California?”

Me: “I’m actually from Indonesia.”

Stranger: “Get back on your f****** boat!”

Me: *taken aback* “What?”

Stranger: “You and your f****** kind keep coming over here and taking our jobs and rubbing in your Islam s***! We don’t want you! That’s why we keep sending you back to your s***hole country! I bet you’re illegal!”

Me: “I assure you I have a visa, and stop yelling at me!”

Stranger: “I can say whatever since you’re in my country!”

Me: “Americans aren’t from Australia, yet you seemed excited when you thought I was one. Is having an American with your job better than having an Indonesian?”

Stranger: *pauses for a second* “Well, it’s my country and I can CHOOSE WHO I WANT!” *runs off while giving me the finger*

This Conversation Is Sliding Downwards

| PA, USA | Friendly | March 2, 2014

(My friend and I are working part-time at an event hall and have just finished cleaning the floors. We are congratulating ourselves on a job well done.)

Me: “Man! I think this is the cleanest we’ve ever gotten it!”

Friend: “I know! It’s so shiny and polishy!”

Me: “Yeah! I wonder how far you could slide on your socks in here!”

Friend: *becomes suddenly pensive* “Or slide a baby…”

(I couldn’t stop laughing for five minutes. She says really bizarre things sometimes, but that’s why we’re friends!)

Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2014

| Not Always Friendly | Friendly | March 1, 2014

February 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Friendly’s top-rated stories last month!

  1. True Friends Are Nothing To Fear (1,281 thumbs up)
  2. Humanity Is Going Down The Tubes (1,161 thumbs up)
  3. This Just Got Personal (1,227 thumbs up)
  4. Washing Himself Of The Situation (1,159 thumbs up)
  5. They Were Saved (1,098 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Some People Don’t Quite Aim For The Stars

| Fredericksburg, VA, USA | Friendly | March 1, 2014

(I and some friends of mine are driving home, talking about surprising facts.)

Me: “Did you know the reason we have eclipses is that the moon is 400 times smaller than the sun, but the sun is 400 times further away? So they look the same size in the sky.”

Friend: “Yeah, and stars are REALLY big, right?”

Me: “I know! It’s unbelievable!”

Friend: “They’re, like, as big as this van!”

(Cue uproarious laughter.)

Friend: “What?”

Me: “[Friend], stars are several hundred thousand times bigger than THE PLANET WE LIVE ON.”

Friend: “What?!”

Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2014

Not Always Friendly | Friendly | March 1, 2014

February 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Friendly’s top-rated stories last month!

  1. True Friends Are Nothing To Fear (1,281 thumbs up)
  2. Humanity Is Going Down The Tubes (1,161 thumbs up)
  3. This Just Got Personal (1,227 thumbs up)
  4. Washing Himself Of The Situation (1,159 thumbs up)
  5. They Were Saved (1,098 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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