Take Her To An Animal Expert, I Noah Guy

, | AZ, USA | Friendly | April 2, 2014

(From the ages of three to seven, I like to walk on my hands and feet everywhere I go, pretending I am an animal. At the local pool, I climb up onto a table a woman is sitting at, make some animal noises, and then jump down, running off. My mother turns to the woman apologetically.)

Mother: “I’m sorry. She thinks she’s an animal sometimes.”

Woman: *taken aback and in a very serious tone* “Well, has she seen a doctor?”

Living On The Edge

| Austin, TX, USA | Friendly | April 2, 2014

(I’m shopping when I see a stranger looking really down.)

Me: “How are you doing today?”

Stranger: “Well, you know, some days are okay, and some days you want to jump off a cliff?”

Me: “Oh, honey, don’t do that. Push someone over first, so you have something to land on when you fall.”

Stranger: *grins*

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Need Money?

| Friendly | April 1, 2014


You’re Like The Brother I’ve Always Had

| Concord, NC, USA | Friendly | April 1, 2014

(I’ve known my best friend for about two years. She’s been over to my house quite a bit, and as such has met all my family. My mom is driving my best friend, my siblings, and me to the local amusement park.)

Mom: “And make sure you don’t pick on your little brother!”

Best Friend: *turns to look at me* “You have a little brother?”

Me: *turns and looks at my little brother in the back seat* “Apparently, you don’t exist!”

Should Keep Gossip On A Knee-d To Know Basis

| Gold Coast, QLD, Australia | Friendly | April 1, 2014

(I’m in a shopping centre. I have bandages on one of my knees from my kitten scratching me. I’m minding my own business, and overhear two women gossiping about the people around them, quite loudly. I’m standing right near them, and notice them pointing directly at me.)

Woman: “Bandages on the knees? You know what that means!”

(I turn around and smile.)

Me: “That I have a better social life than you?”

(They both looked mortified, and I got a high-five from a guy who had overheard.)

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