Instrumental In Their Own Ignorance

| Sheffield, England, UK | Friendly | June 19, 2014

(I am on my way to an orchestra rehearsal with my double bass. When I approach the bus stop, pretty much everyone sitting down jumps up and makes space for me, which is much appreciated. Once I am settled, one of the people who’d got up sits back down next to me and nods at my bass.)

Stranger: “Wow, that’s a pretty big cello. You must be really strong to carry that around all day!”

Me: “Haha, thanks, but I’m afraid this is a double bass. I’d love to learn the cello too, though. My sister learns it, and—”

Stranger: “No, no, I’m sure of it- that’s definitely a cello. You into that classical music, then? I really love… I really love [famous violin piece]. Yeah. That’s a cello thing, isn’t it? Do you play that?”

Me: “Well, no, but—”

(Just then, one of the actual cellists in my orchestra shows up. I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping that I can finally get it through this guy’s head that what I have is a bass. Unfortunately…)

Stranger: “Oh, look! A violin-playing friend for you!”

Now I’m Just Dying To Know

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Friendly | June 19, 2014

(I’m driving a friend to the bank and we’re sitting in the turning lane at an intersection. Our light turns green, but an old man picks that very moment to cross the street, forcing me to wait for him to pass. The car behind me, meanwhile, is blaring the horn trying to get me to move.)

Me: “Impatient b******! I’m waiting for this old man to pass rather than just drive on and hit him. I don’t want another death on my conscience.”

Friend: “Another death?”

Me: *pretending to be ashamed* “Um… I don’t like to talk about it.”

Cosplayed And Lost

| Birmingham, England, UK | Friendly | June 18, 2014

(I am attending an anime convention. I am leaving the hotel room and see a couple dressed in cosplay walking past. The girl notices something at the far end of the corridor.)

Girl: *with excitement* “Oh, my god! That girl is in the same cosplay as me!”

(She then runs at full pelt to tackle hug the other cosplayer.)

Boy: “Uh… wai—”

(She hit the mirror, leaving a greasy outline on it.)

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Age Gap Mishap

| TX, USA | Friendly | June 18, 2014

(I am 21 and have recently started dating a woman who happens to be seven years my senior. I am discussing this with my roommate who can be a little scatterbrained.)

Me: “Yeah, we get along great but sometimes the age gap is pretty weird, like with the childhood stuff we get nostalgic over.”

Roommate: “Well, how big is the age gap?”

Me: “It’s about seven years.”

Roommate: “Who is older?”

Me: “…”

She’s Changed Her Tune

| IL, USA | Friendly | June 18, 2014

(My sister and I are babysitting for some friends, whose daughter is about four years old. She has selected a popular animated musical movie to watch that both my sister and I have seen several times. My sister and I are singing along with one of the songs when she turns around and glares at us.)

Friend’s Daughter: “You’re NOT in the movie, [My Name]!”

(A couple years later we are babysitting her again and she has selected another musical movie. This time she is singing along, so I decide to joke around with her and see how she’ll react.)

Me: “You’re NOT in the movie, [Friend’s Daughter]!”

Friend’s Daughter: “I know!” *continues singing*

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