(I’m out eating sushi with my friend and her sister. We’re almost done with our meal.)

Sister: “[Friend], do you want this nigiri?”

Friend: “No, I’m full. I can’t eat anymore.”

Sister: “[My Name], do you want it?”

Me: “No, you can have it.”

Sister: “But I don’t want the rice. Just the shrimp on top.”

Me: “I don’t even like shrimp, so it’s fine.”

Sister: “It’s okay that I’m not eating the whole thing?”

Me: “Of course! Eat it!”

Sister: “You’re sure?”

(She’s very hesitant, but she slowly brings the shrimp to her mouth, watching my expression. I smile and nod, encouraging her to eat it, so she finally does.)

Me: “[Sister], how could you be so SHELLFISH?”

Friend & Sister: “[My Name]!”

(We are waiting in line for face painting with our four year old. As we near the front, someone clearly cuts in. As it’s free and a nice day we don’t cause a fuss. The face painter sees this but carries on anyway.)

Face Painter: “So, what would you like today, little boy?”

Boy: “Batman!”

Face Painter: “Okay.”

(She paints a very basic yellow and black style with the logo on.)

Face Painter: “Thank you, bye.”

(The boy and his parent disappear without a work of thanks.)

Face Painter: “And what would you like, little girl?”

Daughter: “Could I be a cat, please?”

Face Painter: “Of course you can.”

(She spends ages laying up colours, and chatting to my daughter. The result is the best we have ever seen. To finish it off she paints delicate multi-colour flowers on her cheeks.)

Daughter: *sees herself in the mirror* “Wow, thank you!”

Face Painter: “No worries, anything for a polite little girl like you.”

(Manners cost nothing and sometimes you even get something for free!)

(I’m female, 5’7”, very slim, have dyed black hair, and almost gray blue eyes. Lots of people in Egypt wanted just pictures of my eyes to the point where I got free stuff for selfies.

When we go to the pyramids, I am wandering around enjoying the view when a guy literally picks me up from behind and sets me in the middle of a group, and someone takes a picture. Then they walk away.)

My Aunt: “Do you know them?”

Me: “No! I don’t even know what just happened!”

(I wish I could find that picture. I’m sure I had a very confused look on my face.)

(I have just landed back in Australia, after over 24 hours of travel. It’s nine pm. My parents pick me up from the airport for the three-hour drive back home. Along the way, we decide to stop at a service station to fill up and buy something to eat. Unfortunately, they take cash only, and this means we spend quite some time in the shop, trying to find something everyone can eat with the small amount of cash we have put together. We make sure to stand at one end of an aisle so we’re not blocking the place up; worst case scenario, you’d have to walk three feet out of your way, tops.)

Me: “So if you get the [Soft Drink], we can probably share and—”

(At this point, there’s a man standing behind us growing increasingly agitated. I try to gesture to the completely bone-empty path we’re not blocking, thinking he must not have seen it, as I continue talking.)

Me: “…I’ll just get the muffin. Do you think there’s—”

Guy: “F****** h***! Are you going to god-d*** stand around all day? You’re blocking up the whole f****** shop! What the f*** are you doing, you b****y f******—”

(Enraged, he seemed to lose the capacity to speak. He pushed past us, forcibly shoving me out of the way in the process, and stormed out of the shop. I bought my muffin anyway.)

(My friend and I are chatting. Note that he is a film major, we are both impassioned feminists, and this exchange takes place around the height of the “get you a man who can do both” meme.)

Friend: “Have you seen what the director of Mad Max did before Mad Max?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: “Happy Feet, Happy Feet Two, Babe, and Babe: Pig in the City. Flexibility!”

Me: “Get you a man who can do both.”

Friend: “But he’s also made some other very feminist coded works. He made one about three witches who get a new roommate who tries to seduce them and is the devil. The whole thing is three happily sexual women fighting The Male Devil.”

(He’s referring to the 1987 film ‘The Witches of Eastwick.’)

Me: “What! That sounds amazing!”

Friend: “It famously wasn’t very good plot wise though. I mean, Cher is in it.”

Me: *jokingly* “Name one piece of media that hasn’t been improved with Cher.”