A Wild Generation Gap Appears

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Friendly | June 17, 2014

(My friend and I have just got on the train and sat down when an entire primary school class fills up our carriage, some of them sitting in the empty seats next to us.)

Friend: “I’m gonna ask them about stuff we used to like when we were their age and see what’s still relevant.”

Me: “Yeah, cool.”

Friend: “Hey, what kind of TV shows and stuff do you guys watch? Have you heard of things like Rugrats?”

Kids: *shaking heads, confused stares*

Friend: “Uh… That’s So Raven?”

Kids: “What?”


Kids:Pokémon? That’s for little kids!”

Friend: “You really think so?”

Kids: “Yeah, it’s for babies.”

Friend: “We play Pokémon.”

Kids: “You play baby games then.”

Me: “How old are you?”

(The kids state ages between 7-10.)

Me: “[Friend], how old are you?”

Friend: “16.”

Me: “I’m 16, too. Do you play Pokémon?”

Friend: “Yes, I do play Pokémon.”

Me: “I also play Pokémon. Do you guys play Pokémon?”

Kids: “No!”

Me: “So by that information, it looks like not playing Pokémon is for little kids.”

Friend: “Can’t argue with that logic.”

One Kid: “Yeah, well… you’re a doinky face!”

Dishing The Dirty Dishes

| MI, USA | Friendly | June 17, 2014

(My roommate has been avoiding me for a week, shutting her door whenever I walk past it, walking quickly to her room, etc. We recently got into a fight because she left her dishes in the sink until they were moldy, so I changed the Internet password until she did them. I go to give her some mail.)

Me: “[Roommate], you have mail!”

(I peek in her room when she doesn’t answer and see nothing. Literally nothing. The room is completely empty. I immediately call her.)

Me: “So, interesting story. I went to put your mail on your desk only, surprise! There’s no desk. No nothing.”

Roommate: “You changed the wifi password because I didn’t do the dishes and it pissed me off.”

Me: “You moved out without telling me because I changed the WIFI PASSWORD?”

Roommate: “It pissed me off!”

(She moved in with an old friend of hers, but shortly afterwards had to move back in with her mother, who washed her dishes for her.)

Doesn’t Take It Lite-ly

| PA, USA | Friendly | June 17, 2014

(I am at my best friend’s engagement party. I bring a case of Smithwick’s along since I know he and his fiancé usually stock mostly lite beer which I abhor with a somewhat irrational level of hatred. I make it known the beer is fair game and socialize a bit, end up chatting among a girl and a guy.)

Me: *noticing the girl has no drink* “Did you want a beer? I brought along a case of Smid’ick’s”

Girl: “No, thanks. I don’t like beer.”

Me: “You don’t like beer!? What kind of beer have you been drinking that you say you don’t like beer?”

Guy: “Dude, she doesn’t have to have a beer if she doesn’t want to.”

Me: “I’m aware of that, and some people just don’t like beer. But usually when someone says that I find they’ve only ever drank piss-water in the past, so now I’m curious. What kind of beer are you thinking of when you say you ‘don’t like beer’?”

Girl: “I’ve only really drank beer in college, and then it was usually normal stuff like [lite brands], stuff like that.”

Me: “Well see, there’s your problem. Lite beer is not beer. It’s just bad tasting water. You’ve never had a beer before. Why don’t you try a sip of this and see if you like it.”

Guy: “Man, chill out. She says she doesn’t like beer. She doesn’t have to have beer!”

Me: “You chill out. She’s only had lite beer in the past.”

Guy: “Lite beer is still beer.”

Me: “No. No, it’s not. You’re just spewing gibberish right now. [Girl], this is a fairly good basic lager. It’s not too strong. Would you like to try a sip to see if you like it better than the s*** you had in the past?”

Guy: “She doesn’t have to like beer!”

Me: “I’m not forcing her. I’m asking her. I think beer is a good thing, and if I can spread some joy to someone who doesn’t know it can be good, I’ve done my duty. [Girl], would you like to try?”

Girl: *shrugs* “Eh, why not.”

(She tries a sip while the guy basically scoffs at me.)

Girl: “Hmm, it’s not that bad.”

Me: “There, see? Real beer is pretty good.”

(About a minute passes. Conversation continues normally.)

Girl: “Actually, [My Name], could I get one of your beers?”

Me: *giving [Guy] a smug look* “Absolutely you can!”

Roommate Hate

| Boston, MA, USA | Friendly | June 16, 2014

(I live with a roommate but come to the conclusion that we are not compatible enough to live together. Since we were going to move out of our apartment anyway and have plans to get a house with some mutual friends, I decide to live on my own and for my roommate to live with our mutual friends without me. I tell her my decision six months before we are planning to even look for a house.)

Roommate: “You’re just abandoning me! As soon as something better came up you just decided to throw me aside!”

Me: “I’m not abandoning you. I just feel like this is the best decision for me. You still have the others to live with. I always said I didn’t want to live with so many people and you know I don’t really get along with [Friend]. You also mentioned that you would apply for housing, in which case it’s you who would have left me and I supported that decision. I’m sorry but this is my choice.”

Roommate: “Why are you telling me this so late? You can’t just make that decision!”

Me: “I am telling you over half a year in advance! Look, I’m sorry you feel this way but I’m allowed to live on my own. We’ll still be friends. We just won’t live together.”

Roommate: “You broke my heart! Stop apologizing. It’s not helping!”

Me: “Well, apologizing is all I can do; I don’t know what else you want from me.”

(This exact conversation happens about a dozen times, with me repeatedly saying I don’t want to talk about it any longer because it’s no use. Fast forward 1.5 months, I am trying to sublet my room for the summer, which both my roommate and I agree is okay. She has already sabotaged my attempts to find a sub-letter twice.)

Roommate: “I called the landlord this morning about you trying to sublet the place and saying it was free after the summer. He said there was a wait list for the apartment so you can’t do that. You doing this is not appropriate and it’s not your place. You better change your ad because what you’re saying it wrong and you have no right!”

(I decide to call the landlord to see if it’s true and to apologize if it is.)

Me: *to my roommate* “So, I talked to the landlord and he said you never spoke to him. He also said there was no wait list and that in fact he would be glad if through the process of finding myself a sub-letter I would find a successor to the apartment. You lied.”

Roommate: “Well… I… I only lied because you drove me into a corner! It’s your fault!”

(I still have no idea what she meant. Over the last two months of us living together she told me that I could no longer see our mutual friends so that ‘no one felt left out,’ that our friends had complained about me (which was also not true), and insisted that I broke her heart. All she managed to achieve was to confirm my wish to live on my own!)

A Different Kind Of Dinner Party

| AB, Canada | Friendly | June 16, 2014

(A coworker of mine has just bought a new house and is holding a house-warming party. Another coworker got the address wrong.)

Coworker: *slamming open door and yelling* “What’s up c***-*uckers! Ready to party?!”

(A family of four at the table eating dinner, stare up at this stranger who has just burst into their house.)

Coworker: “So I guess you’re not ready to party, then.”

(He eventually found the right place and fessed up to this. I often wonder about what the family thought of their random party stranger.)

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