No Buns In Her Oven

, | ON, Canada | Friendly | February 6, 2014

(I am baking a cake and a friend has just dropped by to keep me company.)

Me: “Yeah, so I just put the cake into the oven.”

Friend: “Cool.”

Me: “Yep.”

Friend: “I can’t cook because I’m on my period.”

Me: “Mmh—wait WHAT? You can’t cook because you’re on your period?!”

Friend: “Mmhm.”

Me: *starts dying of laughter*

Friend: “Wait, what’d I just say?”

Hide And Squeak

| AL, USA | Friendly | February 6, 2014

(My friends and I are playing ‘Hide and Seek’ in the house. I am ‘it’ and am counting down from 50, so they can go hide. When I get down to one, the following exchange occurs out in the hallway.)

Friend #1: “This is my hiding place! Go find somewhere else!”

Friend #2: “No, there’s room for both of us here. Move over.”

Friend #1: “If he finds us, he’ll get two instead of just one. Go!”

Friend #2: “Okay, fine! [Friend #1’s name] is hiding under the sheets in the hall closet!”

Something Bad Is About To Happen

| Friendly | February 6, 2014

funny-watch-this-quote

Killing The Friendship

| VA, USA | Friendly | February 5, 2014

(While still in high school, me and a couple friends are having a sleep over and watching scary movies. The movie shows the killer has trapped two friends in a room and lunges after one of them. During the lunge, the other friend runs out the room leaving the other one behind. After seeing this, this exchange happens.)

Me: “Oh my god! That’s so horrible!”

Friend: “What? The way he killed the guy?”

Me: “No! She just left her friend to be murdered!”

Friend: “So? I’d do the same thing.”

Me: “But the guy wasn’t even dead yet, and it was two against one! What are you saying, you’re saying if we were in that situation and the killer started to attack me, you would leave me behind?”

Friend: “I would if I knew you were as good as dead.”

Acting Out Of The Dorm

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Friendly | February 5, 2014

(I am an identical twin, but as my sister and I get older, we look more different. My twin sister attends the same university as I, but we feel that it will be best if we live in separate dorms and develop our lives at the university independently of one another. I am standing in a corridor at the university, chatting with some friends. All of a sudden, someone grabs me from behind and lifts me up by the waist, spinning me around the corridor. I cannot see the person, but I can tell he is a large male. I make the assumption that he is one of my best friends. When he puts me back down, I am surprised to find myself face-to-face with a complete stranger. The stranger’s smile turns into a look of horror when he sees my face.)

STRANGER: “Oh s***! You’re not her!”

(He promptly turns and runs away, leaving my friends and I perplexed. On a hunch, I told my twin about the incident a few days later. She laughed and told me that the stranger was the resident assistant in her dorm, and he was mortified at the fact that he had grabbed a girl who did not know him!)

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