(I’m living with my two best friends; we’ve just moved into a new apartment. One day, I swear I hear voices coming from the dishwasher. Both of my friends think I’m bonkers, and we all drop the subject. A few months later, I’m sitting in the living room doing homework, while my bestie is telling me about her day and unloading groceries.)

Bestie: “There’s enough here to…” *tapers off into silence*

(I look up to see my bestie making a really strange face while edging away from the dishwasher.)

Me: “YOU HEAR THEM TOO!”

Bestie: *wide eyed* “I seriously just thought the voices were one of those strange things I accepted about you for the sake of our friendship. Like your mismatched socks and love of trashy romance novels.”

Me: “Yeah, but voices?”

Bestie: “Definitely hearing voices.”

Me: “Yay friendship!”

(We have several people over for a New Year’s Eve party and need to choose a movie. Since no one can decide, I pick ‘The Avengers.’ I know most people like it, and hope our one friend who hates sci-fi will just accept it as a superhero movie. Unfortunately, he doesn’t. After watching the movie…)

Friend #1: “Well, that’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back!”

Me: *starting to seethe*

Friend #2: “Yeah, but, if you think about it, every two hours is two hours you’ll never get back.”

Friend #1: *laughs* “That’s true!”

(My friends and I are discussing the age of Disney Characters.)

Me: “Prince Eric is 16.”

Friend: “Prince Eric does not look like a 16 year old. If there were 16 year olds that looked like Prince Eric, I would be in jail.”

(I am half Swiss, and often go away to Switzerland over summer break. I am currently telling a group of friends about how sometimes in Switzerland we wake up and watch the moon shine over the lake from our hotel balcony.)

Me: “It’s really pretty how the moon just shines over the water with the mountains behind it.”

Friend: “Wait! Wait! There is a moon in Switzerland!?”

(Our clinic has an animal hotel which backs out onto the alley behind. The back entrance is for employees and for taking dogs out for walks, and so only has a small sign to indicate it is an animal clinic. It is otherwise an anonymous-looking building, in an alleyway that looks like several others behind our neighboring strip malls. One such alleyway contains a medical marijuana clinic. It is 8 am on a Sunday. A stranger in his early twenties approaches me as I am taking a dog out for his morning business. I am in my scrubs, and so on the street I am sometimes mistaken for a nurse.)

Stranger: “Hey, you work here?”

Me: “Yep, I’m new.”

Stranger: “Okay, cool. They let you bring your dog to work with you?”

Me: “No, this is one of our boarders. Can I help you with something?”

Stranger: “They shouldn’t let you keep dogs in there! What if they ate your stock?”

Me: “I assure you, the pharmacy is kept well away from them. Did you need something?”

Stranger: “Yeah, just a dime.”

Me: *blankly* “I don’t have my wallet with me, I’m sorry.”

Stranger: *also blankly* “No, I mean… could you let me into the building so I can get it?”

Me: *thinking he is joking, I laugh* “The clinic is technically closed, sorry. Besides, I don’t think I want you going through my stuff!”

Stranger: “I don’t get it! My friends said you guys are super helpful! I just want to buy a dime!”

(At this point, I finally putting the pieces together.)

Me: “Ah, actually… we aren’t that kind of clinic. That one is the next alley up, but I’m pretty sure they’re closed at this time of day. We’re an animal clinic.”

Stranger: “S***! Sorry to bother you!”

(The stranger starts to leave in the direction he came from, but then turns around and goes the way I pointed and laughs.)

Stranger: “Yeah… I might be a little high.”