(I’m sitting at the lunch table with my boyfriend and a male friend of ours. I have a large chest, and was wearing a shirt that had a built-in scarf of sorts.)

Friend: “Is that a scarf or a part of your shirt?”

Me: “My shirt.”

Friend: “Well, it makes your boobs look big.”

Boyfriend: “DUDE! She’s my girlfriend!”

Friend: “I’m just saying she has big boobs! It’s a compliment!”

(A little later…)

Friend: “If you two ever need a condom, you can come to me.”

(My friend and I both like cooking. We’re making crepes for dessert at a New Year’s party, but the fruit compote isn’t turning out how we’d like it.)

Friend: “The way I see it, we have two options. We could put a little bit in a pan, add a bunch of rum, and flambé it, or we could add more sugar.”

Me: “Are you crazy?”

Friend: “Well, I thought I’d ask before I—”

Me: “Why would you even think I’d go for another suggestion after the one that involves alcohol and fire?!”

Friend: “Thank you for reminding me why we’re friends.”

(I’m traveling with my daughter to get her treatment for cancer. Since an old family friend lives in the area I have to take her for her treatments, we visit while we’re there and I meet his girlfriend for the first time. My daughter’s hair has just fallen out, and she admires the woman’s very long hair while we’re eating dinner. That weekend, the two of them stop by the hospital to visit and her very long hair is noticeably shorter.)

Daughter: *sadly* “Oh! You cut your hair!”

Friend: “Yup!”

Daughter: “If I had hair like yours, I’d never cut it.” *putting her hands on her scalp*

Friend: “Oh really? I don’t mind it. I like doing new things with my hair, don’t you?”

Daughter: *sniffling* “Sometimes… I can’t wait for it to grow back!”

Friend: “Well, I have a surprise for you.”

(She takes a wig out the box she had with her that looks like it’ll be about shoulder length on my daughter, and shows it to her. It turned out that a friend of hers was a wig maker, so she’d actually cut off a good deal of her own hair, and had it made into a wig. I hadn’t seen my daughter that happy since her diagnosis! She made a full recovery, and we just got a wedding invitation for those two last month!)

(My roommate and I are pulling nails out of our walls.)

Me: “It’s coming!”

Roommate: “That’s what she said.”

Me: “Aw, it broke. Get me a hammer?”

Roommate: “Well, I certainly hope that’s not what she said!”

(I’m at the mall food court debating what to eat after work. I’ve changed out of my uniform and am wearing a Joker and Harley Quinn shirt. Note: I’m a girl.)

Guy: “Tch, nice shirt.”

Me: “Um… thanks?”

Guy: “Do you even KNOW who they are?”

Me: “The Joker and Harley Quinn from the Batman franchise.”

Guy: “WRONG! Comics! Not franchise! Stupid fake geek girl!”

Me: “Um, no. Harley Quinn first appeared in the Batman animated series. Created by Paul Dini.”

Guy: *blinks and sputters*

Me: “So I say franchise because Harley was from another media.”

(I turn and leave and get my food. I take a seat in the food court, then the same guy with two more guys approach me.)

Guy: “You think you’re hot stuff, huh!?”

Me: “Not at all, but I know I’m not a fake geek girl.”

Guy: “Oh, yeah!?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guy: *smirks* “Name his real name!” *pointing to the Joker on my shirt*

Me: “I can’t—”

Guy: “See! FAKE GEEK—”

Me: “Let me f***ing finish, a**hole! I can’t because we don’t know. It’s common knowledge that he’s referred to as ‘Jack,’ sometimes by the full name ‘Jack Napier.’ But he’s also been known as ‘Joseph Kerr’ AND most recently ‘Oberon Sexton.’”

Guy: “Uh—”

Me: “Also, he has several apparent backstories. One story has him as a sad starting comedian who couldn’t get a decent gig. This one sometimes leads him getting into mob and gang relations and has him be the Red Hood. Other stories just have him as the Red Hood from the beginning. The last is that he is a gangster known as Jack Napier, who, once again dons the Red Hood identity. Now, will you leave me alone so I can eat or do you want me to give you the brief history of Harley Quinn PRE-new 52?”

Guy’s Friend: “Dude… you’re an a**.”

Guy: “But girls aren’t supposed to know that!”

Guy’s Friend: “Shut up, man. She’s a geek. Leave her alone.”

(The guy continues to sputter and claim that since I’m a girl I couldn’t know all of that stuff and still say I have to be fake, somehow. After they leave, a cashier from the place I ordered my food comes over and gives me one of the desserts.)

Me: “I didn’t order this…”

Cashier: “On the house. Our manager insisted, for a fellow comic fan, and to tell you the Joseph Kerr storyline was her favorite.”

Me: *smiles* “Mine, too.”

This story is part of our Awesome Girl Gamer roundup! 

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