(My sons and I decided to try an experiment wherein we found a reason to compliment at least three people a day. We were doing this in our local store, telling people they had a nice shirt, had handled a situation well, or some such thing. When I told an elderly woman she had a pretty shirt, she just stares at me.)
Elderly Woman: “Are you stupid or something?”
(I stay overnight at a hotel with my friend. They serve a continental breakfast. I get a small bowl of cereal, a banana, and a mini muffin.)
Friend: *looking at what I got* “GEEZ! You’re THAT hungry?!”
(I look at her breakfast….she’s got a waffle, cereal, banana, yogurt, AND a donut!)
Me: “Um, what do you call what you have? Not food?”
(She looked at me like a deer in headlights. That was four years ago, and she still to this day thinks that I had more than her!)
Related:
Making A Meal Out Of It, Part 3
Making A Meal Out Of It, Part 2
Making A Meal Out Of It
(I am eating in a restaurant, when a boy about my age (sixteen) walks up.)
Boy: “Hello, girl.”
Me: “Hello, boy.”
Boy: “I love you.”
Me: “I love you, too.”
Boy: “Marry me.”
Me: “Marry you.”
(Suddenly, the boy laughs and holds up a fist. We bro-fist, and laugh together.)
Boy: “Thanks so much for playing along! Here’s my number. We should hang out sometime!”
(Three years later and we’re still the closest of friends.)
(I am starting off a semester with a new college roommate. We are going shopping together for a fridge for our dorm. A woman I don’t know talks to us as we’re looking at the fridges.)
Woman: “That’s a good one.” *points to one*
Roommate: “Oh, thanks! It’s a little out of our price range.”
Woman: “Why are you buying a fridge?”
Me: “We’re students at the university. We’re rooming together this year and neither one of us has a fridge, so we figured we needed one.”
Woman: *with great pride in her voice* “Good for you! Good for you!”
(She walks away.)
Me: “Do you know her?”
Roommate: “Nope. No idea who she is.”
(We finally choose a fridge and head toward the checkout. In line behind us are two older women.)
Woman #1: “You girls are buying a fridge, huh?”
Roommate: “Yeah, for our dorm room.”
Woman #2: “Good for you! I’m so proud of you guys!”
Me: “Thank you?”
(We never did figure out what in the world was so admirable about buying a fridge for our dorm, but I think we made a lot of random women in that store very impressed with the younger generation that day.)
(I have just moved into a furnished apartment. The headboard for my bed is bolted to the wall. After a few nights, I wake up around three am to my bed vigorously shaking.)
Noises: “Yeah! Right there! That’s it! Uh!”
(Once I wake up a bit more, I realize my next door neighbors’ bed must be mirrored to mine in their apartment, and so when they have sex, they can wake me up as well. Not wanting to hear more, I bang on the wall, and they quiet down. However, the next night…)
Neighbors: “Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes, yes, YES!” *bed shaking like it’s on a bumpy road*
(I bang on the wall again, but this repeats itself every few nights, and always around three in the morning. Finally, I hit on a unique idea one night…)
Neighbors: *reaching the climax* “Yes! Right there! Oh, oh, I’m almost there…”
Me: “AAAH! IT’S AN EARTHQUAKE! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! EVERYBODY INTO THE LIFEBOATS! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST! OH GOD, THIS IS THE END! HEEEEEELLLP!”
(I guess they decided to have sex during the day when I’m not around because this hasn’t happened since!)
