(My housemate and her friend are eating their food outside a fast-food restaurant and talking about their futures. My housemate and her friend are both 20. There is a bus stop a few steps away from them.)

Housemate: “I really do worry about post uni life, you know. It’s going to be hard to get a job in this climate.”

Friend: “There’s also the fact that we probably won’t be able to afford a house anytime soon.”

(A bus driver who’s on his break comes over to them.)

Bus Driver: “It’s so good that kids your age are thinking about the future! Good on you! Here, get yourself something nice!”

(He gave them a five pound note and then walked back to the bus stop. Not the biggest amount, but they said they managed to get a decent magazine with it!)

(My husband and I live in a large house with another couple. They are nice, but when they have sex they are VERY loud, and they have sex at least a couple of times a night. My husband and I are in the living room.)

Me: “They’re at it AGAIN! They’re like rabbits!”

Husband: *not paying attention because he’s playing his Xbox* “Lenny Kravitz? What?”

Me: “No. Like rabbits. They’re going at it like rabbits? How did you get Lenny Kravitz!”

(Suddenly our housemate screams very loudly.)

Me: “From now on, we’re going to call it Lenny Kravitzing. As in, ‘well, the housemates are Lenny Kravitzing again!”

Husband: “Gross.”

(We still call it Lenny Kravitzing!)

(My younger sister and I are playing the newest release of a popular fighting game franchise. Our older brother and his friend walk into the living room just as I use my character’s finishing move on my sister’s character. She hands off the controller to my brother, who I also easily beat despite the fact I agree to not use my favorite character.)

Brother: “I should have known.” *hands off the controller to his friend* “You want to try? You stand a chance as long as she doesn’t use [My Favorite Character]. If she uses that guy, you’re totally f*****. You don’t want her to use the weapons against you, either.”

Friend: “Pfft, yeah, right! I’ve got this game at home and I know I’m not gonna have any trouble beating her! She can play as whoever she wants and she can use whatever fighting style, including weapons.”

Sister: “Um, that’s not a good idea.”

Brother: “[Friend], at least tell her that she can’t use the weapons or you’re not gonna survive!”

Friend: “Whatever, man! I’m good at this. I’m not gonna get beat by a girl.”

(I smirk as I select my favorite character then twist so that I’m laying upside down on the couch. I don’t bother pushing any buttons as my brother’s friend proceeds to mercilessly assault my character.)

Friend: “Dude, why aren’t you fighting back?”

(As soon as my health gauge gets so low that my remaining HP is barely visible, I start in on his character and easily beat him.)

Friend: “You caught me off guard! The next round is mine!”

(He goes in for an attack but I evade and perform a chain combo: I use the first fighting style then second followed by the weapon with a finishing blow from the first style. As he stares in slack-jawed silence, I perform my character’s finishing attack.)

Brother: *shakes his head* “Dude, I told you.”

Me: “Yep.” *tosses the controller to my brother* “You guys can play for a while. I’m bored.”

Friend: “How did you get so good?! You’re a girl!”

Brother: *laughs* “She’s been gaming since she was, like, two and has been playing this game franchise for nearly as long as it’s been out!”

Friend: “But she’s a girl!”

Sister: “As you already pointed out.” *rolls eyes* “C’mon, [Brother], let’s play.”

(That was over ten years ago and my brother still doesn’t let him live it down.)

(My husband and I have just bought our first house. I am so excited I go over to take pictures of the house with the ‘sold’ sign in front. One of our new neighbors approaches and introduces himself.)

Neighbor: “Hi. I’m your neighbor, [Neighbor]. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

Me: “Thanks! I’m [First Name] White, so you’ll be seeing our name on the mailbox soon.”

Neighbor: “Well, I’m glad you’re Whites and you’re white!”

(I was suddenly not too excited about moving in next door to a racist!)

(I’m shopping at the mall when, suddenly, a guy I have never seen before in my life walks right in front of me and stares at me for a few seconds.)

Guy: “Penguin.”

Me: “Uh, polar bear?”

Guy: “Well, that’s harsh!”

(He stomped off as if I had said something really offensive. To this day, I still have no idea what that was about.)

This story is part of our Polar Bear roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

18 Chill-Inducing Stories About Freezing Weather And Those Who Can’t Handle It (And A Few Who Can)

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