Freedom To Be Free-dumb

I’m a police officer, standing outside my patrol car with my partner. We’re parked near a lake during the Fourth of July fireworks.

The fireworks are just starting. Families are gathered with lawn chairs, kids have glowsticks, and in the last few hours we have witnessed a guy try to grill on a disposable tin tray balanced on a cooler, a kid running past us holding a sparkler in one hand and an energy drink in the other, and a guy in flip-flops, wrapped in the flag like a toga, holding a half-eaten turkey leg and yelling “FREEDOM!” at a duck.

My partner sips his cold coffee, stone-faced, then mutters:

Partner: “You know, the Founding Fathers would’ve loved this.”