Freedom From Idiots Isn’t Free

(I work customer service for a website that has no fee to use it. It’s completely free.)

Me: “This is [company name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I signed up for your site, but I don’t want to pay for it!”

Me: “Well, sir, our site is completely free to use, so you don’t have to pay for it.”

Customer: “You say that, and then you’ll charge my credit card! The free is just a free trial, right? Then I have to pay! I don’t want you charging my card!”

Me: “Sir, there’s no place to enter your credit card number on our website.”

Customer: “I know! I’m not stupid!”

Me: “Then how would we charge your card if we don’t have the information?”

Customer: “You’ll just do it! I know how things work!”

Me: “Okay, sir. I promise we won’t charge your credit card, which we don’t have, for anything.”

Customer: “Was that so hard? Jesus!” *hangs up*