Free Yourself From Shame; Free Stuff Is Great!
I used to work for a video game company. We made an action-RPG dozens of you played. Members of the team had previously worked on “Fallout 3”, “Diablo”, “GoldenEye 007”, and other titles most of you actually did play! (Our RPG was great; it just didn’t sell well.)
It was my first job I truly loved, and although I didn’t make much as a lowly game tester, it was amazing to work with artists whose work I knew well, and to work a job where EVERYONE wanted to be there. I had just worked retail and data entry jobs before then. My experience there got me an IT job making four times as much, but that’s not the focus of this story.
I was eager to make a good impression, network, and be KNOWN.
It’s worth noting that I have a huge sweet tooth, love candy, and grew up lower-middle class. I will pick up any freebie I can. Buy one, get one free? Free pizza for anyone who signs up for text alerts?! BRING IT ON. I fill out every sweepstakes or contest I happen to see, including those little surveys on the bottom of receipts. (I’ve won a few thousand dollars’ worth of stuff, to be fair.)
So, of course, I was overjoyed that we had catered meals twice a week, and if shareholders or investors or the press visited, they’d have pizza, subs, sushi, or Indian food delivered, and everyone was welcome to a share. I loved when an email would come out saying, “Free pizza in the lunchroom. —Human Resources,” or, “My buddy at [Game Studio] just sent me twenty copies of the unreleased [Game Series], sitting in the lunchroom. —[Coworker]”.
It all came to a head one day when I had to use the bathroom or something and started moving quickly toward the lunchroom bathroom.
Suddenly, five or six programmers and concept artists dashed toward me.
Me: “What’s going on?!”
Developer #1: “You tell us!”
Me: “…what?”
Developer #2: “You’re the free stuff guy! We all keep our notifications off to concentrate when we work, but if you or that 6’6” guy suddenly leave your chairs and move quickly, it means pizza or Chinese or Halo 4 or something!”
Me: “…do you remember our names?”
There was a long pause.
Developer #3: “No, but I know if you’re moving fast, there’s a 99% chance there’s a cheesesteak or a cake nearby.”
There was another long pause.
Me: “I started college at fifteen, attended grad school, applied to 130 jobs last year, and uhhhh… I’m glad you remember that I love cake and that’s how people remember me.”
Just then, the 6’6” guy came out from a meeting, saw me slowing down, and yelled out:
Tall Guy: “Ooooh, is there pizza?!”
