Free Food? Not A Ghost Of A Chance!

, , | Right | June 28, 2018

(We run a small family restaurant that has been in business for over 50 years; therefore, we have a lot of older patrons that have been coming in for years. Usually, I enjoy seeing them, and since many are regulars, they have become almost like our extended family. One of our waitresses walks into the kitchen with an amused smile.)

Waitress: “There is a lady at table one who wants to see you.”

(I walk out, thinking it is one of our regulars who wants to catch up, but I don’t recognize the older lady, although the young girl with her looks vaguely familiar.)

Me: “I’m [My Name]. Is there anything I can help you with? I was told you wanted to see me.”

Older Lady: “I told the waitress I wanted to see the owner. He always lets me have [menu item] for free, and the waitress is trying to charge me for it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize for any confusion, but I am [My Name]; I am one of the owners. Can you tell me which owner it was that gives you the discount?”

Older Lady: *visibly angry and raises her voice to the point that other customers are noticing* “I don’t know who you are, but you are not the owner! I have known [My Deceased Father-In-Law] for fifty years! We are as close as siblings! I just saw him last week, and I can assure you that next time I see him, I’m going to tell him about you pretending to be the owner, and you will be fired!”

Me: *as calmly as I can after her tirade* “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry you feel that way.” *I turn to walk back into the kitchen*

Older Lady: “YOU WILL BE SORRY! ONCE I TELL [My Deceased Father-In-Law], YOU WILL BE FIRED!”

(By now, it has become a full blown spectacle. Everyone is looking, and a few of our regulars are actually shaking their heads in disbelief. I walk patiently back to her table, trying to stay calm.)

Me: “Then I suggest you stop on your way and pick up a Ouija Board, because [My Father-In-Law’s nickname], the man you saw last week that’s as close to you as a brother, passed away four years ago.”

(She turned bright red, calmed down immediately, paid her ENTIRE bill, and even tipped her waitress. I’ve seen her back in the restaurant a few times. She always looks away when she sees me, but she has never again demanded free food.)

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