Freak For Yourself

(I am at a Chinese restaurant with a friend. A group of four settle at a table beside us, including a couple in their 40s and what appears to be a set of their parents. The waitresses are obviously Chinese and speak English with accents.)

Waitress: “What would you like for drinks?”

Older Husband: “Diet Coke, please.”

Waitress: “Sorry, no diet. We ran out.”

Older Wife: “He can only drink diet, though!”

Waitress: “We have no diet. I am sorry!”

Older Wife: “You don’t understand!” *speaks slowly for her* “Only. Diet. Coke!”

Waitress: “But—”

Older Husband: “It’s okay. I will have water, then.”

Waitress: “Okay!” *hurries away, slightly flustered*

Older Wife: *to her husband* “You scared her away!”