Found The ME In Team

(My boss signs our department up to pass out promotional items at local high school football games. This has previously been done by any employee who cared to volunteer, but for some reason, that was no longer good enough. A game is suddenly added to the schedule and the boss is running around the department.)

Boss: “Hey, [Coworker #1], can you go to the game tonight?”

Coworker #1: “No, sorry, I’m signed up for a dinner at church.”

Boss: “Can’t you skip it?”

Coworker #1: “I’ve already committed. I really can’t.”

Boss: *sighs* “FINE. Hey, [Coworker #2], what about you? You can leave early!”

Coworker #2: “I can’t. I’m working my second job tonight.”

Boss: “Why can’t you call in?”

Coworker #2: “Because I could get fired?”

Boss: “Oh, fine.”

(I am the only person in our department who works a later shift.)

Me: “I can do it if you want me to.”

Boss: “No, you need to stay here.”

Me: “But I could run out there for a couple of hours and get back in time to wrap things up.”

Boss: “No.”

Me: “Well… then why don’t YOU do it?”

Boss: *turns to face me with a look of disgust on his face.* “Because I’m the HEAD of the department!”

Me: *whispering after he walks away* “What a team player!”