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Forever Unatoned

| Right | January 15, 2013

(Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

(A week later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

Manager: “Not happening.”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

(A month later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

(They leave silently. A few months later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

(He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*

Me: “BANNED FOREVER, AGAIN!”


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