Forever Chasing Cars

(My three-year-old son is playing with his cars and has them all over the floor.)

Me: “Okay, [Son], it’s time to put away all your cars.”

Son: “No! Never!”

Me: *sighing* “You know, that’s what we’re supposed to do when we’re done playing.”

(My son then starts visibly deteriorating into meltdown mode, and the howling begins.)

Son: “Well, I’m NOT going to put them away! I still want to play with them, and I want them all over the floor!”

(The ranting begins, resulting in:)

Son: “…and I don’t want anything for Christmas from you!”

(I am confused, but his rant isn’t over yet.)

Son: “You can take all of my cars and put them in the trash!”

(My daughter, his older sister, chimes in.)

Daughter: “Or mommy can put them in the box and send them all off.”

Me: *hopeful* “In that case, I’m just going to give you a box and you can dump them all in. Then I can throw it out.”

(My son stops for an analytical pause.)

Son: *accusatory* “No! That’s CLEANING UP!”

(My tactics are busted.)

Me: “Well… then, here’s a trash bag; you can dump everything in.”

Son: *calmly* “Thank you.”

(Say what?! My son eventually put everything away in their proper boxes, and in their proper places, all on his own.)

Son: *politely* “If you put these in the trash, I’ll really appreciate it.”

(My mental processes have just been badly messed up!)