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For The Good Of Mankind, Please Drink More

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2008

Me: “Good afternoon! Thanks for calling… How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just got off the phone with poison control!”

Me: “Oh? ”

Customer: “They told me to call you! Tell me, is your cleaning solution toxic?”

Me: “You mean the stuff we use to clean fresh ear piercings?”

Customer: “Yah, that stuff. I mean, I called poison control and they said they weren’t familiar with your product but to call you and find out what’s in it…”

Me: “Well, no, sir, I don’t believe it’s toxic. There isn’t really anything in here that–”

Customer: “–because I ingested a whole bunch of it!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I was out of mouthwash. I needed mouthwash.”

Me: “But it isn’t mouthwash… It’s used to clean piercings…”

Customer: “I know; do you think I’m stupid?! That’s why I’m worried!”

Me: “Sir, it isn’t toxic. And for the record, all the ingredients are on the bottle itself.”

Customer: “Why would I look at the bottle? I called poison control!”

Me: “Mhmm. It’s not going to kill you, sir. Just try not to drink any more of it, please.”

Customer: “Oh, good. I’ll call poison control back and tell them that your cleaning solution isn’t a threat to public safety.”

Me: “Please do.” *click*

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