For Every CD, Turn, Turn, Turn

Customer: “Can I put some CDs on hold?”

Me: “Sure, just pick out what you want and we can put them behind the counter.  However, we will only hold items for 24 hours.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

(The customer then spends about an hour picking out approximately 20 CDs.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much they will be?”

(I add up the prices using a calculator.)

Me: “The total for the CDs is $280, but with sales tax it will be around $295.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s fine.”

Me: “They’ll be here behind the counter until tomorrow when we close. After that time, we’ll put them back.”

(The customer does not come back the next day. I leave the CDs behind the counter for a few more days, just in case. About two weeks later, I’m eating my lunch in the back when a coworker interrupts me.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s a customer out here who says you put some CDs on hold for him. I can’t seem to find them and he’s getting really mad.”

(I go up to the register and recognize the customer. His arms are crossed and he’s tapping his foot impatiently.)

Customer: “Yes! You were the one! Where are my CDs?”

Me: “Sir, I told you that we could only hold them for 24 hours. That was almost two weeks ago. I even waited a few extra days before putting them back.”

Customer: “You didn’t tell me I only had 24 hours!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure that I did. I tell everybody.”

Customer: “Do you know how long it took me to find those? Now I’m going to have to do it all over again and you’re going to help me since this is your fault!”

(We spend about 45 minutes going around the store together. The whole time, he continues to yell at me and complain that he was never told about the 24 hour rule and I’ve made him waste his time. When he says he’s done, we bring the CDs up to the counter and I ring up everything while my coworker puts them in bags.)

Me: “Okay, the total is $293.79.”

Customer: “What?! How the h*** could it be that much?!”

Me: “Well, you have about 20 CDs here. That’s why it is so much. I told you the price the last time you came in.”

Customer: “You did not! Liar! LIAR!”

Me: “Yes, I did. I added them up on a calculator. I told you that with sales tax the total amount would be around $295.”

Customer: “YOU DID NOT!”

Me: “Okay… fine, but regardless the total is $293.79.”

Customer: “I want a discount for your lousy service!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there will be no discount.”

Customer: “Well, I need these CDs immediately or else I’d just walk out, but be warned that I’m going to make a complaint about you!”

(He gives me a credit card, which is declined. He gives me another credit card, which is also declined. He wants to write a check, but our store does not accept checks for purchases over $100.)

Customer: “I don’t have much cash! What am I going to do? Can I just write you an IOU? I’ll be back tomorrow morning with the money.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that is not possible. My only suggestions would be to put some of the CDs back—”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “—or perhaps we can try to spread out the total amount over the credit cards, a check, and cash.”

Customer: “Do that!”

(We spend quite awhile trying smaller and smaller amounts on his credit cards, but they’re all declined. He only has $6 cash, which only leaves a check.)

Customer: “You can take a check for the whole amount, can’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.  Even if I wanted to, the register won’t accept check amounts over $100.”

Customer: “Just put the whole thing in as cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that either.”

Customer: “How about YOU pay for them and I’ll pay you back? You OWE me at least that much!”

Me: “That is not going happen, sir.”

(He spends a few minutes pacing and mumbling that he needs the CDs and he doesn’t understand why I won’t work with him. Eventually, he dumps the CDs out of the bags and begins to go through them.)

Customer: “I can’t choose! Just put them all on hold for me and I’ll be back tomorrow morning!”

Me: “Okay, but you do understand that if you do not come back by close tomorrow, that the CDs will be put back, right?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “24 hours… tomorrow… right?”

Customer: “YES! I’M NOT STUPID!”

(He never came back.)