For Being THAT Stupid, We’re Charging Eggs-tra

My customer has three eighteen-packs of eggs in her cart.

Me: “Can you hold one up so I can scan it?”

Customer: “Why? It’s free.”

Me: “The eggs aren’t free, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, they are! It says right there, ‘free eggs’!”

Me: “That says cage-free eggs, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, it has the word ‘free’ in it, so you have to honor it.”

Me: “No, it just means the chickens were not raised in cages.”

Customer: “Free is free!”

I call the manager over to explain because I feel myself getting dumber by the minute.

After the manager explains and the customer angrily hands the egg packs back (she didn’t want them if she had to pay for them), she storms out.

Manager: *To me.* “I was really getting worried about the fat-free and sugar-free stuff in her cart!”