For Bad Parenting These Two Take The Cake

(I am scanning a large birthday cake for an adult couple.)

Me: “Oh! Is it someone’s birthday today?”

Wife: “Yes! It’s our daughter’s tenth birthday today.”

Me: “Oh, that’s cool. My birthday’s not too far away either!”

Wife: “Really? How old will you be?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Wife: *to Husband* “Oh, that was a good year. Do you remember what you did on your seventeenth birthday?”

Husband: “I don’t know. I drank seventeen beers!”

Wife: *laughs* “I’m pretty sure that my seventeenth birthday was the first day I did shrooms. But you look like a lot better kid than we were. I’m sure you won’t do any of that stuff, right?”

Me: *pause* “That’s going to be $17.43, please.”

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