For A Few Dollars More

(I decide to shut down an account at the bank. The teller completes the transactions and gives me the balance of the account in cash. Later that day, there’s a knock at my door. My mother opens the door to see two police officers and an angry looking man in a suit demanding to see me.)

Police #1: “Were you in [Bank] today?”

Me: “Yes. What is this about?”

Police #1: “The bank manager here says that you took money.”

Me: “I closed an account; the teller gave me my balance.”

Manager: *shouting* “YOU TOOK MONEY! YOU STOLE IT!”

Me: “No. I only got what the teller gave me. I didn’t count it as it was so little.”

Police #1: “So little? How much is so little?”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t check the balance, but it was under $10.”

Bank Manager: “It was supposed to be $8 but you took $9.”

Me: “I had no idea the teller gave me $1 more.”

(I pull a dollar note out of my pocket. The manager snatches it.)

Bank Manager: *to police* “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”

Police #2: “HIM? H***, NO! You, on the other hand, have wasted valuable police time over a measly dollar. You were acting as if it was thousands. H***, I would have given you a dollar myself if I had known. And, it was the bank’s fault.”

(After apologising to me they took the red-faced manager out, promising to report him to his superiors.)