For A Few Dollars Less

(We have closed. I’m letting two employees out when a man runs up to the doors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “I’ll only be a minute.”

(He comes towards me, trying to squeeze between me and the door.)

Me: “Sir, the store has been closed for ten minutes. Our registers have been shut down.”

Customer: “I’ll only be a minute; I just need one thing. I’ll be out before you know it.”

Me: “Sir, even if I could let you in the store, our registers have been shut down so no one would be able to check you out.”

Customer: “I was only going to buy a 99-cent item. I swear I’ll only be a minute. I’ll never come back if you don’t let me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. There’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “It’s just a 99-cent item!”

Me: “I do apologise, but we open tomorrow at nine.”

Customer: “You just lost a very large sum of money! I’m never coming back!”